


You found me

by JenLionheart



Series: Love Among The Dead [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, Awkward Daryl, Blow Jobs, Cliffhangers, F/M, Fighting, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Romance, Violence, shower scene, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:02:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5564686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenLionheart/pseuds/JenLionheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While searching houses for supplies, Daryl finds something he never expected. A survivor from his home town.<br/>And not just any survivor either. Her name is Jay Larson. She`s pretty much the love of his life, though she doesn`t know that, because Daryl never told her. He never thought he was good enough for someone like her.<br/>She was the only one who ever treated him like a man. The only woman who ever stood up to Merle and never cared about what other people thought or said about him. </p><p>In this new world, will he find the courage he lacked back then?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to credit this story to my best friend, Ellen. She`s my muse and my biggest supporter in everything.  
> Love ya sweety ;)

“Jay??”

Daryl almost drops his crossbow in shock when he sees her. Him and Carol had been searching houses for supplies, when they heard movement in the upstairs bathroom of the house they were currently looking around in. Daryl had snuck quietly up the stairs and kicked open the door, expecting a walker.

But instead he found a ghost. A half naked, bleeding ghost as it turns out.. Standing there in just jeans and a black bra, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. One arm raised in a defensive position.

 “Dixon?? Holy shit..” the familiar woman whispered in disbelief, lowering her arm. She was wrapping up a nasty cut to her belly when he had busted through the door. He had moved so quietly that she hadn`t heard him coming at all. Perks of years of hunting experience. They stood there staring wide-eyed at each other in shock.

“Never thought I`d see you again..” she breathes. His heart was threatening to pound straight through his ribcage, his blood roaring in his ears. She was a lot thinner, a few years older, her hair was darker and her skin was dirty, but it was definitely her.

 _Jay_...

 “You`re alive..” he breathed, astonished. “Last I checked, yeah..” she quips weakly, a little shell shocked, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear. That`s when she notices what he`s holding in his hand. “And you`ve got a crossbow..” she points out with a bemused frown. It startles a laugh out of Daryl, which in turn makes her laugh. The whole thing just seems absurd. Soon they`re grinning like idiots, an event that feels foreign to Daryl, but he can`t help it.

She steps forward and gives him a one-armed hug, the other arm holding onto the bandaged wound on her abdomen, making sure it doesn`t get stretched to much. He tenses a bit in surprise at the contact, but hugs her back gingerly.

 “It`s damn good to see you, Daryl” she whispers into his neck, close to tears now that the situation is starting to sink in.

“Yeah, ya too..” he says quietly as she pulls away from the hug. He clears his throat, feeling a bit awkward now at her state of undress.

“Ya alright?” he asks. She sniffs and swallows. “Yeah. Well, good enough anyway” she replies.

He points to her bandage. “How`d that happen?” he asks, hoping it isn`t a bite. That would really suck, finding her again after all this time and then having too put her down.. Hell no.. She looks down at herself and seems to suddenly realise that`s she`s shirtless.

“Oh, this? Got caught on some barbed wire climbing over a fence. Not my brightest moment, I`ll admit..” she says with a slight blush. She looks around for her grey shirt, finds it, and quickly pulls it on, wincing a little at the movement. She`s got a lot more muscle on her now he notices absently.

 “You alone?” she asks. He hesitates briefly, wondering if he should trust her. People change after all.. But looking into her eyes, he only saw the same good and strong woman she`d always been, and so he shakes his head `no`.

“You?” he asks. She nods, a flash of something in her eyes. Pain? Loneliness? “Yeah, have been for a long while now..” she says, a sadder tone to her voice then. He nods in understanding. They had all lost people.

“Okey.. Um.. Ya wanna come downstairs and meet Carol? She`s cool” he suggests with a bit of an sheepish expression on his face, because really? _She`s cool?_ God, he was such a dumbass..

 She raises her eyebrows slightly, but doesn`t comment on the `cool` thing, thankfully. “Um.. Yeah, sure. Is she your girlfriend or something?” she asks curiously, and Daryl snorts loudly. “Nah, it ain`t like that. She`s jus` a friend” he says, and she shrugs.

“Okay, then” she says and he nods, backing up and walking down the stairs. She grabs her one worn down rugsack and follows him warily down the stairs, hoping she`s made the right choice by trusting him.

 ---

“Carol! Ya gotta come meet someone!” he nearly yells, and Carol comes out of the kitchen with a look of confusion on her face. “Meet someone, here? Who?” she asks, because what on earth? Didn`t he just go upstairs to deal with a walker? Then a woman comes quietly into view behind Daryl and Carol freezes, always wary of strangers.

The woman looks to be around 30 or close to it. She has straight, golden brown hair that reaches just above her shoulders and blue-green eyes with specks of silver in them. Her skin has a nice natural tan to it, giving her a handful of freckles dusted lightly over her petite nose and dimpled cheeks, and there`s a tiny pink scar above her left eyebrow. She`s pretty, Carol thinks. But very thin. Probably hasn`t had a good meal in a long time. Her jeans and grey shirt are pretty worn and a little dirty, which is the common look these days.

“This is Jay Larson. I actually knew her from before the virus and all. Jay, this is Carol” Daryl says and sounds surprisingly almost _happy_ about this chance meeting, which stumps her a little. Daryl Dixon, happy? That`s something she`s never seen before. The newcomer smiles shyly, obviously nervous of people, which is a good thing.

“Hi” she says with a tiny wave. Looking very young as she half hides behind Daryl, seeking safety. And that makes Carol smile back warmly.

“Well, hello there. Were you the one making all that noise upstairs?” she asks gently, and Jay nods, then frowns. “I wasn`t that noisy, was I?” she asks Daryl, probably worried about attracting walkers, and he smirks.

“Well, ya weren`t quiet, knockin` over shampoo bottles and whatnot” he says playfully, and she sighs with slight annoyance, giving the man a half-hearted glare. Carol chuckles quietly at the exchange, relaxing more at the familiarity between them.

 

#

 

Daryl asked Jay to come with him and Carol to their camp, which they told her was at a prison nearby. She had raised her eyebrows at that, and Carol didn`t blame her for it one bit. Most would find the choice of location strange at first, but like them she quickly realised the pro`s of thick walls and fences.

Jay had quietly agreed to come, and Carol had a feeling that she only accepted because she didn`t want to be parted from Daryl yet. Carol also couldn`t help but notice the shy glances between them. Which made her curious. For what exactly was her connection to him? 

As they got into Carol`s car, Daryl told Jay a little about the group and how they ended up at prison. Jay listened with interest and occationally asked a question or two.

When they got close enough for her to actually see the place they called home, her eyes had widened considerably. 

Glenn opened the gate for them and they drove through. He stared curiously at the stranger riding in the back with them as they passed him. It wasn`t every day someone new arrived at the prison.

 

Jay was nervous to be around this many people after months on her own. She was trembling slightly, and her eyes were constantly scanning her surroundings as they left the car. Daryl noticed how uneasy she was and stayed glued to her side as the other members of the group eyed them warily.

Rick walked towards them, greeting Daryl with a curt nod and sizing up the stranger beside him. “

Who`s this?” he asked a little tensely, gesturing to the new face among them. Daryl stepped just slightly closer to her, shoulders tense and back straight.

Rick got the message, loud and clear. This was someone he wanted to protect, even from Rick.

“She`s a friend. Known her for years, she`s good people” Daryl says firmly, not breaking eyecontact once. His whole body language was saying `she`s with me`.

Rick nods, understanding showing on his face. From what little he knew of Daryl`s past, the redneck didn`t connect easily with people. So this woman had to be special to him to earn the title of `friend`. His eyes soften as he turns his head to her again.

“You got a name?” he asks, more gently now. She swallows visibly, but despite her obvious discomfort she doesn`t back down from him.

“Jay..” she replies quietly, and he gives her a small but welcoming smile. “Hello Jay. My name is Rick Grimes” he says and holds out his hand. She hesitates briefly, but accepts his hand after a quick nod from Daryl.

“I told her she could stay with us. That alright?” Daryl asks carefully, and Rick shrugs. “Sure, we got the room” he replies and he could see Daryl relax a little at that. 

 

The group started approaching them one by one after seeing the former sheriff shake her hand. She greeted everyone politely, though still tense and wary. Daryl didn`t leave her side for a second of it. Watching everyone`s interactions with Jay much like a guard dog would, much to Carol and Rick`s surprised amusement.

 She liked Carl and Hershel right away. Carl reminded her of her little brother, Eddie. And Hershel of her grandfather that she`d lost the year she graduated from college. Daryl told Hershel that Jay used to work as a nurse back in his home town. Hershel lit up at that and eagerly suggested that maybe she could assist him in the future. She agreed with a bright smile, the first she had showed since arriving. She always loved working as a nurse, she liked taking care of people. Daryl knew that too, which is why he brought it up. Pleased that he could make her smile. He`d always loved her smile..

 She liked Glenn and Maggie too, and had whispered to Daryl that she thought they looked very cute together. To which he had merely grunted in reply to. Lovey-dovey couples weren`t exactly something he cared much about. She didn`t know what she thought about Lori or T-dog, but Beth seemed sweet enough.

 

After the introductions and all, Daryl showed her a vacant cell she could use to sleep and store her stuff in. She seemed a little uncertain, which he noticed.

“What? Ya don`t like it?” he asks with a frown. She shakes her head and smiles. “No, it`s great. I just can`t remember the last time I slept in an actual bed.. Where do you sleep?” she asks and he wonders to himself if she`s afraid of sleeping alone in here.

“I got a bed down the hall, but I usually jus` stay in one of them watch towers. Don`t like sleepin` in a cage, ya know” he says with a shrug. She nods, then chuckles suddenly. Daryl looks at her funny, so she says; “I just remembered that you didn`t much like sleeping in hospitals either”. He groans and blushes a little, rubbing his neck as he makes a face.

“I was kinda hopin` ya didn`t remember that” he mutters.

“It`s kinda hard to forget” she laughs, and Rick pokes his head over Daryl`s shoulder.

“Hard to forget what?” he asks, and Daryl snaps his eyes to Jay, silently pleading with her not to tell, but she smirks and shows no mercy.

 “Oh, just remembering when Daryl had a hunting accident and ended up in the hospital. He`d busted his head pretty good and the doctor wanted to hold him over night for observation. He refused, of course, being the stubborn ass that he is” she says and then makes a good impression of an angry Daryl; “` _ **I ain`t sleepin` in no damn hospital! Ya`ll can go to hell! Bunch of quacks the lotta ya!**_ `." Rick smiles at the impression. "

And at some point he threw a bedpan at Dr Jenkins, and it hit him right in the head, so basically he _accidently_ knocked out his own doctor!” she tells Rick and laughs at the memory. Rick chuckles while Daryl turns bright red.

“Yeah, that sounds like him, alright. You know, the first time I met him he threw a bunch of dead squirrels at me?” Rick says and her eyebrows shoots up.

“Really? Squirrels?” she laughs and Daryl is just about ready to leave when she says; “That`s kinda cute, but then I always thought you were adorable”. His eyes widen as he looks up in surprise, meeting her bright and smiling face. _She thinks I`m adorable?_

He wants to scoff at being called something so _fluffy_ , but feels a fluttering in his stomach steal his voice, and her smile is so infectious, he can`t help but smile back, albeit a little shyly.

 

#

 

Later, as Daryl stood watch in one of the towers, he thought back to when he knew her before. It seemed so long ago, like a different life. In a way, he guessed it was..

She had always been nice to him, even though everybody else in town treated him like shit. He`d heard them tell her not to waste her time on that `piece of trash redneck`, but she didn`t care what people said. She even defended him more than a few times. She always treated him like a man, never talked down to him or nothing. She was his friend. And he`d be lying if he said he hadn`t been madly in love with her back then. He never made a move or even told her that he liked her. He was too scared she`d laugh at him or something. Maybe things would be different this time around..

 When the world went to shit, he had looked for her. But the town was quickly overrun by walkers, and his uncle and Merle kept pushing for them to leave. They kept saying that she was dead. That there was no way she could have survived, because she would have been at the hospital, trying to help people. And that was the worst place to be.

After a while, he believed them..

 Daryl could hear boots on the steps, coming up the ladder to the tower and rubbed a hand over his tired face. Glenn gave him a friendly nod as he entered.

“All clear?” he asks while lifting the strap connected to his rifle over his head, setting it down against the wall.

“Yeah, a dozen walkers or so at the fence, but that`s all. Ya takin` over?” Daryl asks gruffly.

“I figured I`d do something useful” he replies, and Daryl sees the shadows under his eyes. “Couldn`t sleep, huh?” Daryl concludes and Glenn shrugs. “Not even a little bit. I`m not the only one though. There`s a few of the others still up too” he says and Daryl grumbles a short reply and good bye before climbing down and heading inside.

He saw Hershel kissing Maggie and Beth good night on the cheek, and nodded to them as he went to his sleeping spot. He looks toward Jay`s cell and wonders if she`s settling in alright, he figures she must be since the cell`s dark. Lying down on the matress with a soft groan, he was asleep in minutes.

 

##

 

Daryl woke up in the middle of the night, rather abruptly. For a moment he didn`t understand why, or what had woken him up, but then he heard it.. Soft cries and whimpering noises where coming from the cell at the end of the block. 

 _J_ _ay`s cell_..

He got up so fast that he found himself right outside her cell door before he even realised he was moving.

Jay was tossing and turning on the bed, sweat drenching the front of her grey top. The look on her face froze him for a second. Scrunched up in pain and radiating pure fear. She was fisting the sheets as she cried. “...no...please stop...” she whimpered in her sleep. Tears rolling down her beautiful face.

She was clenching her legs together, like she was trying to stop... _No.. Oh god no..._

Daryl felt a chill run up his spine and his heart sink as he prayed he was wrong.

He kneeled beside the bed and hesitantly grabbed her shoulders, shaking her as gently as he could.

“Jay? Ya gotta wake up.." he tried, but got no respons.

"Jay! You`re dreamin`, it ain`t real. Wake up!” he said, a bit of desperation in his tone, and her eyes shot open.

She struggled against him, violently, until she realised who was holding her. She was panting heavily and shaking like a leaf, her eyes wild and terrified.

“D-Daryl?” she whispered, and he swallowed around the lump forming in his throat. _What the hell happened to her out there?_

“Yeah, `s me. S` jus` a dream. Ain`t no one gonna hurt ya `ere. You`re safe” he whispers back. Hating how his voice is trembling a little.

She puts a hand over her mouth and sobs softly. He gets into bed with her without a second thought and just pulls her into his arms. She doesn`t resist, just burrows her face into his chest and cries. He rubs her back and shoulders gently, whispering into her hair over and over again that she`s safe, that it will be alright.

 

##

 

“Wanna talk `bout it?” he asks carefully a while after she`s calmed down. She doesn`t say anything for a long time, and just when he thinks she won`t answer, she starts talking.

“..There was this place.. Outside of Dalton.. I`d been walking for days and I was so tired, and hungry.. I saw this cabin, and I thought it`d be a good place to rest.. But there were people there.. Three guys.. Tom, Brandon and Danny. Looked a bit shady to me, but I`m not one to judge on appearances”,

Daryl hummed in agreement on that, she never judged _him_ by his looks, that`s for sure.

“They said I could stay for a while. They gave me food and water. I was so grateful for that. But then Brandon headed into town the third day I was there for more supplies, and left me alone with Danny and Tom..” she paused, swallowing thickly. Daryl waited patiently for her to continue.

 “They changed the moment Brandon left, like someone had flipped a switch or something. Started making these nasty comments. Saying that `a pretty little thing like me shouldn`t be walking around all alone`, that I needed a man to protect me.. Danny said he could be that man, if I... did certain things for him.. for Tom too.. I told them I`d rather die than whore myself out for protection, no matter what the situation was, and they got real mad..” she stopped for a while again, shaking a little, and Daryl wasn`t sure if he wanted to hear any more..

 “I don`t remember much to be honest.. It`s like I blacked a lot of it out.. They threatened me, screamed at me, shoved me to the ground.. I fought back, and they beat me, badly, they tore my clothes and I was bleeding all over the place.. Don`t know how long it went on for.. Could have been minutes or _hours_..” she sniffled and burrowed even closer. He cleared his throat, and asked the question he was afraid to hear the answer to.

“Did they..?” he trailed off, unable to actually say the word.. She shook her head and he sighed in relief. “They tried.. But no.. I had a knife in my boot, and I managed to get it out.. I stabbed Tom with it.. I cut Danny too, but he got the knife away from me.. I kicked him, but he just kept coming at me. Then Brandon showed up, saw what was going on, and at first I thought he was going to kill me.. But he didn`t.. He helped me.. Saved me..” she finished, sobbing quietly against his shirt and he stroked her hair as he sent up a silent thanks to whoever this Brandon guy was.

 

She fell asleep in his arms after a while, feeling safe for the first time in months. Daryl stayed awake for another hour or so, just silently enjoying her warm body against his. Her soft hair tickling his skin. He hated the reason _why_ he was lucky enough to have her in his arms tonight, but he cherished every second of it non the less, because he knew it would probably never happen again..

 

 


	2. Tattoes and jealousy

The next morning, Jay woke up feeling refreshed for once. That was a nice change. Daryl wasn`t there, but the spot beside her was still warm, so he couldn`t have been gone for long. She had a smile on her face as she got dressed, happily wrapping a blanket around her shoulders for extra warmth before heading out to join the others. She had slept in the arms of Daryl Dixon. Now there`s something she never believed would happen. He was always so shy, especially around women..

There was a time when she thought he might be into her, but he never made any kind of move, so she figured it was just wishful thinking. She`d admit to having one hell of a crush on the youngest Dixon back then. The man had stolen her heart away without even trying to.. People were always so hard on him, the Dixons had a bit of a bad reputation after all. His father was a mean drunk, his uncle was a hustler and Merle was...Well, he was Merle.. But Daryl was different. Sure he could be gruff and brutish at times. A little awkward, very unsure of himself and bad tempered, but he was always good to her. She still remembers the first time she met him;

 

_She was walking across the parking lot to the university in the early hours of the morning. When she sees this guy sleeping in a truck there, she recognised him on closer inspection. He was Merle Dixon`s little brother. What was his name again? David? Darren? Daryl! That was it. He was nearly ten years her senior and didn`t go to any classes here as far as she knew, so she wondered why he was there. She looked at her watch and made a face. He was going to be in trouble if they caught him sleeping here, so she thought she ought to warn him. She knocked on the side window and the man practically jumped up into an upright position, making her bite back a laugh. Then his wide blue eyes met hers beneath his dirty-blonde bangs and she remembers thinking that he was sort of beautiful._

  _He rolled down the window and looked a bit nervous. “Yeah?” he asked._ _She smiled sweetly.“ Hey. I`m sorry for waking you up like this, but you`re not really supposed to be sleeping out here. Now, I don`t mind, personally. But the parking officer swings by every morning and noon, so you might wanna find another spot before he shows up, alright?” she tells him gently. He runs a hand through his hair and tries to straighten out his clothes a bit, blushing fiercely, which she thought was really cute. “Okey.. m`sorry.. I`ll jus`.. Um.. Thanks..” he stutters and starts fumbling around for his keys. “No problem, Daryl. Have a nice day” she says and starts to walk away. “Hold up! How`d ya know my name?” he asks and she turns and looks at him with a sly smile. “Small town, Dixon. I`m sure you know mine too” she replies, smirking when she sees him smile a little. “Yeah, I do, miss Larson” he says wryly and she chuckles. “Call me Jay, no need for any of that missy stuff with me” she says and he gives a real smile this time. “Alright.. Jay” he says, a little shy. She likes the way her name sounds on his lips._

 

“Good morning” a voice said, jerking her out of her thoughts. Rick emerged from the shadows of a nearby cell and smiled softly when she put a hand to her chest, looking relieved that there wasn`t any actual danger. “Sorry, didn`t mean to startle you” he says in friendly voice. She smiles and waves it off, shoulders relaxing slowly. “It`s alright, I was miles away, or years more acurately” she replies honestly, and he nods, still smiling. “Remembering a better time?” he asks and gestures for her to join him on the bench in front of them. “I guess” she says and sits down, wrapping the blanket more tightly around herself. They sit in silence for a few minutes and she takes a good look at him for the first time. He`s certainly handsome, he looks like a kind man too. And Daryl seems to trust him. She wonders why he`s staying in a cell down here instead of being with his pregnant wife and his son though, but it`s not her business so she doesn`t ask.

He clears his throat before breaking the silence. “So, how long have you known Daryl for?” he asks, aiming for common ground. Jay looks up at the ceiling as she counts in her head. “Hmm, must`ve been around nine or ten years before this whole thing happened, can`t really claim to have known him after though. I`m still getting used to the fact that he`s alive” she says with a slight sigh. He smiles a little at that. “Must have been a shock” he acknowledges. She nods. “Yeah, I`ll say.. But I think _he_ was more shocked than I was” she says with a bit of a chuckle and he raises an eyebrow. “I was in a bathroom patching up a cut when he found me and I was basically half naked. I don`t think he was prepared to see me _alive_ , let alone _that_ _much_ of me!” she explains with an amused smile and Rick laughs at the mental image of Daryl gawking at a half naked Jay, probably all flustered and awkward. “I bet!” he chuckles.

 

#

 

When Daryl got back from checking the fences like he did every morning, he heard Jay`s soft laughter and turned in the direction it came from. Jay and Rick were sitting close together, talking and laughing. The amount of anger and jealousy that roared through him at the sight, caught him by surprise. He had no claim on her.. No right to get jealous. Rick spots him and gets up, walking over with Jay trailing behind him. “How`s it lookin` out there?” Rick asks as he comes to a stop in front of him.

“It`s fine. What`s goin` on in here?” he asks and there`s a slight bite to his words, making Rick raise an eyebrow. But then he remembers the protective display from Daryl the day before and he understands. “Nothin` much, just talking and swappin` stories with Jay here” he says in a way that simultaneously says ` _nothing`s going on, so relax_ `. But the fact that Rick could read him that easily just served to make him more angry, because was it really _that_ obvious?

“Is something wrong?” Jay asks, looking cautiously back and forth between him and Rick. “Ain`t ya supposed to be helpin` Hershel?!” he snaps at her and she visibly flinches at his harsh tone, staring at him with wide eyes. He could see fear in those blue-green orbs and winced internally. Why did he have to talk to her like that? She ain`t done nothing wrong.. “I.. He hasn`t asked for me yet..” she says hesitantly, making him feel even worse.

Rick places a hand on her back, instinctively offering comfort. “She`s just woke up an hour ago, give her a moment to get her bearings first” Rick says calmly, trying to defuse the tension. But Daryl doesn`t really hear him, he just sees the hand Rick has on Jay. His jaw tightens, and he just turns around and walks away angrily, leaving a very confused Jay and an exasperated Rick.

 

#

 

Daryl had left on a run with Glenn, just to avoid Rick and Jay for a while. He knew he`d acted like a dick, but he didn`t know what to say yet, so he thought he`d buy himself some time. When he came back a few hours later, he couldn`t find her and started panicking. Had she left the prison? Did she leave because of him and his stupid mouth? Then Carol told him that she`d seen Jay with Hershel and he was relieved.

He ran up the stairs and hurried to Hershel`s cell, pulling aside the sheet covering the bars without thinking and froze. Jay had her bare back towards him, while Hershel was bent down in front of her, cleaning and re-bandaging the wound on her belly.

Later he would think back and find it funny that he`d stumbled onto her half naked _twice_ in just as many days, but at the time it was more of a `Ya gotta be kidding me` sort of thing. He hadn`t seen her back before when he found her that first time, but he sure was seeing it now. She had a black and grey tattoo that stretched from her tail-bone, following her spine all the way up to the base of her neck. It looked like intricate vines twisting together with various flowers and thorns. It was beautiful. She looked over her shoulder nervously, having heard the sheet moving, and met his eyes. He blushed and looked away. “Sorry, didn`t realise...” he mumbles and she stops him from saying anything more.“It`s okay, you can come inside. It`s nothing you haven`t seen before anyhow” she says lightly, small smile tugging on her lips and Hershel looks up with a curious expression, then shakes his head and continues wrapping the wound.

Daryl doesn`t reply, just steps inside, pulling the sheet back into place. It`s not a lot a space with three people in that cell, so he finds himself standing close enough to feel the heat of her skin, reminding him that he`d woken up with her in his arms that morning. He swallows hard. “So, how`s it look, Doc?” he asks, looking anywhere but at her bare form, which Hershel notices with a bit of amusement. “It`s healing very nicely. She`s done a good job on keeping it clean and dry” Hershel says warmly, she smiles at the praise. “There, that should do it” he concludes and stands up straight again, telling her that she can put her shirt back on. She grabs her black shirt that was lying on a chair next to the bed and slips it on while thanking Hershel kindly for his help. Then she turns to look at Daryl. “Can we talk?” she asks quietly, and he nods, a little reluctantly because he knows it`s about this morning.

 

#

 

Back at her cell, Jay sighs and sits down on the bed. He leans his back against the wall across from her, chewing on his thumb nail a bit nervously. “First off, I wanted to thank you.. For last night” she starts, and Daryl feels his face heat up, _again_.. “`s nothin`. Jus` glad I could help..” he tells the floor apparently. “It wasn`t nothing to me” she argues, he meets her honest eyes briefly then looks away again. She sighs again, deeper this time. “What happened this morning, Daryl? Did I do something wrong? she asks. He could kick himself for making her think that.. “Nah.. Ya didn`t.. I`m sorry `bout that.. I jus`.. I didn`t mean to snap at ya..” he manages to get out, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. She nods slowly. “Okay.. So, are we good, then?” she asks, unsure, and he hates that she sounds that way because of him. Him and his damn temper, always screwing everything up.. “Yeah, we are” he says looking into her eyes, willing her to believe him. She nods again and seems to relax a little, so he offers her a small smile, which she returns. Her eyes softening with the exchange.

 

 


	3. Traps and Showers

Jay goes with Daryl when he goes to check the traps he`d set in the woods around the prison. She puts her hair up in a pony tail and smiles, enjoying the light breeze tickling her neck. The upper portion of her tattoo is exposed above the edge of her black tanktop that way, and he likes it. She seems much more relaxed out here too, something he can understand. She hasn`t been around people for a while, and after what she`d been through at that cabin he`s betting she ain`t too big on trust these days either. “How long were ya alone for?” he asks suddenly and she looks at him. “A while.. You and Carol were actually the first living people I`d seen in months” she tells him and he nods, more to himself than to her, it`s what he had figured. “Ya didn`t have a gun on ya when we met” he mentions, and she snorts. “Yeah, I never liked them much. I`m good with knives though. Guns makes too much noise, attracts both the living and the dead. And I like to travel as light as possible too” she explains and he smiles a little, smart girl. She wants to be able to move fast and quietly, not drawing any attention to herself. That`s good. Smart.

The first two traps are empty, but there`s a possum in third. Daryl bags it and they move on. “I`ve been afraid to ask but.. Merle?” she hesitates, and she can see there`s a bit of pain in his eyes at the question. “Dunno.. Haven`t seen`im for months” he replies and she nods quietly. The way the world is now, missing usually meant dead. “Well, from what I remember, he`s pretty tough. He might be alright” she says and he can tell that she means it, she`s not just saying what she thinks he wants to hear. He appreciates that. “How `bout yours?” he asks, knowing she had two brothers, one older and one younger. “Billy`s dead.. He got bit. Shot himself in the head when the fever hit him..” she trails off, lost in memories for moment before shaking it off and continuing, “Don`t know about Eddie though, he was up in Canada with my uncle Tim when it all happened”. He nods, studying her face carefully, she looks sad but not like she`s going to fall apart or anything, which is good. “I`m sorry `bout Billy..” he says after a while, and she gives a halfsmile and a headshake. “No, you`re not. He was an asshole, you hated him” she says with some morbid amusement, and he snorts. “Yea, I kinda did.. But he was still your brother, so I`m still sorry” he replies, kicking a small rock off the path. She sighs and accepts the condolence. “Do you remember when he stole Merle`s truck?” she asks, smiling with the burst of nostalgia she felt. Daryl laughs. “Oh man, I thought Merle`s head was gunna explode, he was so pissed!” he muses and she grins. “I know. I felt like killing Billy myself when I found him sleeping it off on my porch, Merle`s truck parked in the middle of my damn lawn. He`d driven it straight through my garden, destroyed every damn flowerbed I had! It was a miracle the apple tree survived!” she joked and Daryl laughed even harder. It felt good to laugh again.

They hear a twig snap behind them and they turn around quickly. A walker was stumbling out of the bushes and heading towards them, drawn in by the sound of them laughing no doubt. Daryl raises his crossbow, but before he`s even lined it up right the walker falls to the ground, a knife sticking out of it`s forhead. Jay walks over as casually as going to church, puts a foot on the walker`s head and yanks out the blade, wiping off the gore on the walker`s shirt before re-sheathing it on her hip. She looks up and sees Daryl staring at her with his mouth half open and she smiles wryly. “What? I told you I was good with knives” she quips and he chuckles, shaking his head.

_Damn that woman.. She`s gonna make me fall in love with her all over again.._

 

#

 

Carol watches the two emerge from the woods, joking around and bumping shoulders, and a genuin smile forms on her face. She`s hanging up laundry, but keeps an eye on them discretely. It`s so good to see Daryl more loose and relaxed, his whole bodylanguage is different, like she calms him. She wants to know more about Jay, because she`s curious to find out what kind of woman could have that effect on that stubborn, hot headed friend of hers.

 

#

 

_Jay was helping out with painting the community centre. She was laughing and chasing some of the kids around with paint covered hands, they squeeled and giggled as they tried to get away from the `paint-monster`. Daryl was standing across the street watching, waiting for Merle to finish up at the store, and he couldn`t help the goofy grin that spread across his face as she finally caught one of the little ones and tackled the small boy to the ground, tickling him and making fake growling noises. The kid was laughing hysterically and crying uncle until she relented. She looked up and saw Daryl standing there, and he froze. But she just smiled even brighter and waved at him. He gave a small wave back and blushed. “Aw, well ain`t that just precious?” Merle drawls behind him, and Daryl tenses up, the smile dropping from his face immidiately. “Pretty sweet on her, huh, lil` brother?” he mocks and Daryl glares daggers at him. “Shut up!” he growls back. Merle laughs as if it`s the funniest thing he`s ever heard._

 

#

When Daryl went to bed that night he found himself laying on his back, one arm behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. He almost wished that Jay would have another nightmare, just so he could hold her again. Did that make him a bad person? Probably.. They had spent the whole afternoon together, just talking and goofing around. It was the most fun he`d had in a long time. He`d almost forgotten what it felt like to laugh like that. He closed his eyes with a light smile, and tried to force himself to sleep.

Jay wasn`t having much luck sleeping either. She had.. _butterflies_. The thought almost made her laugh at loud. It`s the end of the world as we know it, the apocalypse. The dead coming back to life and feeding on the living, every day is a fight to survive, no where is safe, and here she lies awake in an abandoned prison no less, having fucking butterflies because of Daryl Dixon. Now, how messed up is that? Well, he`s always had that effect on her, so she really shouldn`t be surprised.

 

#

 

“There`s a shower room?!” Jay exclaimed with wide, almost dreamy eyes while talking to Carol. The silverhaired woman laughs at her excitement. “Yes, but there`s no hot water, so you`ll only be taking cold showers” she warns, but Jay doesn`t care, it`s a shower! “I really couldn`t care less about the temperature, as long as it means that I can actually get _clean_!” she says with longing, making Carol laugh again. The two of them had spent the morning together, chatting away like old friends. Jay found that she really liked Carol, much to Daryl`s relief as he walked in to Carol`s cell finding the two women giggling together like teenagers. Carol was pretty much his best friend after all, he wanted them to get along. As Jay cheerfully headed for the showers, Carol put a hand on Daryl`s shoulder and whispered to him; “I like her”, before winking at him with a knowing look that made him blush bright red. Maybe it really was _that_ obvious..?

Daryl followed Jay to the shower room, thinking he`d guard the door for her. But hearing the water running and knowing that she was naked in there, _naked and wet_ , was becoming a bigger temptation by the minute. He looked around, nobody was any where near the door. If he was really quiet, nobody would know, he thought.. Then scolded himself immidiately after for even thinking it. _Stop being such a perv, Dixon!_ After another 10 minutes had gone by, he frowned. Just how long is she going to be in there? What if she`d fallen down or something? She could be hurt and just lying in there..

He was just going to make sure she was okay.. That`s what he told himself as he snuck inside quietly. He wasn`t going to spy on her, just a quick look to know she hasn`t slipped on a soap bar or something. He stopped lying to himself the moment he laid eyes on her..

Her normally golden brown hair looked black as ebony underneath the spray. She combed her long fingers through it, helping the water along as it worked on washing away the soap suds which then travelled on downwards. The arch of her back was made even more appealing by the climbing vines tattooed in a spiral that followed her spine. He watched the muscles surrounding the ink shift beneath her sunkissed skin with each movement, and felt his mouth go dry. She ran her hands in smooth half circles over her body, caressing as much as cleaning. Daryl had always thought she was beautiful, but now he was seeing just how much.. Slim waist, well muscled arms, prominent hips, cute twin dimples situated above a perfectly firm ass, she had the thighs and legs of a runner.. She turns just slightly to the side, revealing those round breasts and perky nipples, running soapy fingers over them and sighing softly.

As he takes all of this in, he`s slightly surprised he`s not passing out from the abrupt shift in bloodflow now rushing south with punishing purpose. He`s rock hard in what feels like _seconds_..

 

#

 

Daryl stumbled out of there, escaping the shower room like a thief in the night, and rushed into what he thinks might have been a janitors closet or something at one point. He shut the door behind him, locking it, breathing hard as he leaned against it. The room was dark, small and smelled damp, but he didn`t care as long as he could have a moment alone. He felt like shit for doing this but he just couldn`t help himself. He unzipped his pants and pulled them down just enough to free his aching cock, sighing in relief as he wrapped his fingers around the hardened flesh.

He bit his lip to keep quiet as he started moving his hand up and down, swiping his thumb over the slippery head every other stroke. _Damn_ that felt good.. “I`m definitely going to Hell..” he thought.. He closed his eyes and let images of what he had just seen in the showers flood his mind. How the water caressed her naked skin, small streams rolling down her tattooed back, over and between the cheeks of that pert little ass. _Oh fuck.._

He`d wanted so badly to walk up to her, flip her around, hear her gasp in surprise. Then he`d drop to his knees in front of her and just bury his face in her pussy. He imagined doing just that. He would hitch one of her legs over his shoulder for better access as he licked and massaged those sensitive folds. In his imagination she didn`t fight him, rather encouraged him instead. He`d slide a finger or two inside her while he sucked gently on her clit, following the cues of her body to set the pace..

He wondered how she would sound, how she would taste.. Would she grab his hair? Would she just run her fingers through it, or use it to push him harder against her pussy, moaning his name? A choked grunt escaped him at the thought and he tightened his grip around his cock, pumping it furiously now, desperate for release. It had been way too long.. Living in such close quarters didn`t allow for much privacy.

He imagined lifting her up, her legs locking around his waist. Shoving her up against the shower wall, kissing her breathless while rubbing his dick against her wet folds, teasing her. Would she like that? Would she beg him? Would she say ` _Please, Daryl.. Please fuck me._.`? He tasted blood as he bit his lip harshly to stop the heavy groans that threatened to come out. He could almost _feel_ her. She`d be so tight and hot, he just knew it. He would fuck her nice and slow at first, giving her plenty of time to adjust. She wasn`t some whore he`d picked up in some seedy bar after all, she was special.. He`d make sure she was enjoying every second, and kiss her deeply while he fucked her. Then as she got more used to him filling her, he`d go harder, deeper, pounding her against the wall.. She was tough, she could take it.. Hell, she`d probably demand more, clawing at his back, digging her heels into his ass to shove him deeper. ` _Harder, Daryl.. Make me scream..`_ With that he came hard, seeing only white for a moment as he struggled to stay on his feet, covering his hand in hot come as he kept stroking himself through his orgasm. _Holy shit_..

 

When he had cleaned himself up, he felt so ashamed for what he`d done. Like he`d _defiled_ her somehow. He`d only had her back in his life for a few days for christ sake. She trusted him enough to tell her about how she was almost _raped_ a few months ago, and he had told her that she was safe here.. And she believed him.. Then he goes and does this.. Spying on her in the shower, where she`s all naked and vulnerable, then he`s jerking off in a closet afterwards like some fucking sex-freak....

_How the hell was he supposed to look her in the eye now?_

 

 


	4. Weirdness and more jealousy

Daryl was acting weird.. Well, weird _er_.. Jay would catch him looking at her strangely and when she raised an eyebrow at him, he`d practically jerk away and look at anything but her. He was moody, awkward and jumpy, and Jay couldn`t for the life of her figure out why..

 

_Stop staring at her, dumbass!_

He never should have walked into that shower room. Because now he couldn`t look at Jay without picturing her all wet and naked. What was wrong with him? _Fuck.._ He`d been walking around with a constant half-chub for days now! That shit can`t be healthy.. She bends over to tie her shoe laces and his eyes immidiately zero in on her ass. _Good Lord.._ He tries to ignore her and focus on cleaning his arrows. A bunch of them had ended up in the mud earlier that day when he fucking _tripped_ because Jay made a certain comment..

They had been walking the perimeter around the prison and it had rained the night before so the ground was kinda slick with mud. She almost slipped a few times and one of those times she had mud splatter up to her knees and said ; “Shit, if I keep messing up all my clothes like this, I`m gonna end up walking around butt naked!”.

And that`s when his brain apparently forgot to tell his leg to actually _lift_ his foot when crossing over roots.. He fell flat on his face, crossbow thrown into the mud right beside her feet. It was embarrassing as hell.. And it got even worse when she went to help him up and as she saw him covered in mud she teasingly said ; “Looks like you`re gonna be naked too!” then she burst out laughing.

_Damn that woman.._

 

#

 

Seeing as Daryl was acting all weird around her, she figured she`d give him some space to work out whatever was going on in that head of his. So she went to find Rick. And find him she did.. Though not exactly in the way she had imagined. He was outside in the heat, digging in the dirt to make ready another patch to plant some crops in, shirtless. And the moment she turned the corner he was pouring water from a bottle over his head to cool down. Her eyes followed the water drops that trinkled down his well toned chest and she found herself practically drooling. 

 _Man, I need get laid._. she thought to herself and shook of the initial reaction of her body. Rick dragged a hand over his face and through his hair, getting the water out of his eyes, and he grinned at her as she walked over to him. She let out a long whistle.

“Damn, Grimes. If you weren`t married I`d do you right here in this field” she joked and he laughed as a deep blush painted his cheeks. She smiled and shoved her hands into her back pockets.

“What can I do for you, Jay?” he asks, and she gives him a suggestive once over with her eyes, making him laugh again. “Other than that” he adds, amused. She chuckles and shrugs a little.

“I was just wondering if you needed help with anything actually. Hershel doesn`t need me today. Glenn and Maggie are on watch. Carol and Lori are doing laundry. The kid`s being looked after by the rest and Daryl`s being all weird around me. So I don`t have anything to do” she says honestly. Rick smiles and nods, acknowledging the boredom she`s probably feeling. “Alright. Well, I guess you could help me dig and plant some, if you want?” he suggests and she smiles back, happy to have a task, finally. “Sure, but I`m keeping _my_ shirt _on_!” she quips with a pointed finger and he laughs, putting his hands up in mock-surrender before handing her the shovel he was using and walking off to find another.

 

#

 

Rick and Jay worked well together as it turned out, and they had a new crop field in no time. Daryl stopped by, claiming to check on them. He actually praised them on their work, which made Rick raise an eyebrow. Then the former sheriff remembered what Jay had said earlier about his weird behaviour.

He watched Daryl carefully. Saw how he kept looking at his feet and fidgeting at her side while she told him about the kind of crops they were planning on growing. He looks up and sees how Rick is watching him, glares at him and just walks off in a huff. Leaving Jay standing there, the perfect picture of confusion.

“You mentioned something about Daryl acting weird?” he asks as he hands Jay a small bag of seeds. The curiosity and concern obvious in his eyes after what he`s just witnessed. She kneels on the ground, opening the seedbag and sighs in an exasperated manner.

“Yeah, I don`t know what`s going on with him. He`s been really strange, moody. Snapping at people for no good reason.. He barely sleeps, doesn`t eat much either, and yesterday he was helping me hang a sheet in front of my cell and I swear he was _smelling_ my hair..” she says and widens her eyes comically, shaking her head.

“He`s been clumsy too,-” she continues as she plants the seeds into the earth, -”keeps dropping or breaking stuff, and the other day he tripped on a _root!_ I mean, have you ever seen that man as much as _stumble_?" She shakes her head.

"And then there`s the staring.. He get`s this intense look in his eyes, like he`s about to attack me or something. I just hope he isn`t sick or anything like that” she rambles on and Rick has to turn his face away a little to hide a growing grin.

He recognised the ` _symptoms_ ` alright, and she`s definitely in danger of being ` _attacked`_..

By a horny, lovesick redneck..

 

#

 

When they were done with the planting it was already starting to get darker outside. She got cleaned up and put on a black hoodie, this place got cold fast when the sun went down. She grabbed the few items of clothing she had and went to the wash room. She rolled up her sleeves, filled a basin and got to work. The water was cold enough to turn her hands bright red as she scrubbed off as much dirt and grime as she could from her worn and torn clothes. While she was scrubbing at a particulary stubborn stain, she could feel a pair of eyes staring holes in the back of her neck. She didn`t have to turn around to know that it was Daryl.

“Following me now, too?” she asks with a bit of a sigh in her voice. She was getting real tired of his weird behaviour.

“How`d ya know it was me?” he asks, walking closer warily. She huffs a little at the question. “Who else would be sneaking up on me like that in here?” she replies, putting her frustration into the scrubbing. He frowns at her visible agitation.

“Ya pissed or something?” he asks, and she looks up from her washing with a hard glare.

“That depends..” she says tensely. His frown deepens. “On what?” he asks, watching her intently. She straightens up and faces him.

“On if you`re gonna tell me what the hell`s up with you?” she spits, planting her hands on her hips and narrowing her eyes at him.

“Nothin`, `m fine” he hissed back, suddenly all defensive. She raises her eyebrows in a `don`t bullshit me`-expression.

“Oh, really? `cause lately you`ve been as jumpy as a caffeinated squirrel in a room full of cats!” she says and he makes a face at the comparison, scoffing at her before heading for the door. She isn`t having it though, she grabs his arm to stop him from running away and he yanks it out of her grip, glaring at her.

“Don`t fuckin` touch me!” he growls, but she doesn`t back down.

“Just talk to me! You`re worrying the shit out of me with the way you`ve been acting!” she more or less shouts at him, a bit of worry and hurt bleeding into her voice now. His eyes soften for a moment, like he feels bad for making her worry, but then his expression hardens again.

“Well, ya can stop worryin`, `m fine! And I ain`t your problem anyhow, so jus` back off!” he bites back and shoves past her, rushing out of there like he`s got hellhounds on his heels.

“I just want my friend back...” she says to the silence of the room..

 

#

 

_Jay was getting ready for bed after a rough shift at the hospital. She changed into her light blue pajamas and brushed her teeth. That`s when someone started pounding on her door. She frowned, it was a quarter past midnight, who the hell would bang at her door this late? She opens the door slowly, keeping the chain on, just in case. The sound of heavy rain hits her the moment she opens the door. Through the crack she sees him and gasps. “Daryl?!” she yanks off the chain and throws open the door, staring at the man in horror. He`s soaked to the bone from the rain and looks like he just went ten rounds with a terminator and lost. His right eye was swollen shut and turning into a purple-ish black, his lip was split and bleeding, there was some more blood trickling down from his left temple. He was shaking and clutching his left arm which she noticed was also bloody. “What the hell happened to you?!” she exclaimed, and he just let out a single sob in reply. She pulled him inside and held him as tightly as she dared, her heart breaking with every broken sound coming from the man in her arms._

_When his sobbing turns into soft sniffling, she leads him quietly into the bathroom and makes him sit on the edge of the tub. She helps him take off his drenched shirt, wincing as she sees the bruises on his chest and ribs. He didn`t look at her, just stared at the floor, shivering. Knowing him well enough to know that he wouldn`t tell her about what happened, she pulled out her first aid kit with a sigh and got to work. Her practised hands moving steadily over his beaten body. Cleaning, prodding carefully in search of fractures, luckily finding none. Patching, bandaging, placing butterfly strips. They didn`t speak while she worked on him. He would sniffle occationally, his teeth would chatter from being cold and he would hiss at the pain. She got out a white towel and started gently drying his hair, wondering if this was the handy work of his father, again.._

_What kind of man would do this to his own son?_ _She was startled when she suddenly felt his hand on her cheek, his thumb stroking sideways beneath her eye. Only then did she realise that she was crying too. Looking into his one good eye she let out a shaky breath, then leaned forward and planted a kiss on his forhead. His breath hitched at that._

_She went into her bedroom and rummaged through her closet, finding a pair of sweatpants, a blue t-shirt and some socks. Clothes left behind by her older brother. When she entered the bathroom again, he looked up, vulnerability written all over his face. She handed him the clothes she held in her hands.“They`re Billy`s, he left them behind when he came to visit last month. I think they should fit, you`re about the same size” she tells him and he nods slowly. “Thanks” he says quietly. “Do you need any help putting them on? With your ribs and all, I mean..” she asks carefully, and he shakes his head. “Alright then, I`ll just be in the living room” she says and he nods again._

_He emerges from the bathroom eventually. Billy`s clothes are a little big on him, but only a little. He looks very unsure and awkward, just standing there rubbing his arms. She smiles softly and gestures to the pull-out couch that she had made up for him, he stares at her in surprise. There`s clean sheets on it and a soft pillow, a heating bottle and some thick blankets. “Ya want me to stay?” he asks in sort of disbelief and she crosses her arms defiantly, her face taking on a stern expression. “You show up at my door in the middle of the night, beaten to a bloody pulp and soaked to the bone. Now, if you think I was just gonna patch you up and then shove you out the door, you`ve got another thing coming, Daryl Dixon! I won`t make you tell me what happened, but I will damn well make sure that you get a good nights sleep so you can start healing properly!” she barks at the stunned man who`s currently gaping at her. She walks into the kitchen, then comes back out with two white pills and a glass of water. “Now take these and go to bed, no arguing!” she orders, her firm tone makes him comply without question. Swallowing the pain-killers and handing her back the glass after emptying it in just a few gulps. He climbs into bed, wrapping the blankets around himself, watching her warily, and she nods in satisfaction. “Good.. I`ll see you in the morning, I`ll make you breakfast. And just so you know, I`m not above force-feeding!” she says with a pointed eyebrow. Then her eyes soften, and she winks at him, small smile playing on her lips. “Good night, Dixon” she says much more softly and walks to her bedroom. Just before she closes the door behind her she hears a quiet “G`night, Jay..” and she smiles.._

 

#

 

Jay was playing cards with Rick in the watch tower. He had gotten the alone-shift so she offered to keep him company, bringing along a deck of cards.

“What do you miss the most? You know, from before?” Rick asks as he shuffles the cards. She huffs in amusement. “That`s easy. Burgers, music and bubblebaths” she says. Rick raises his eyebrows and starts dealing the cards. “Really?” he says mulling her choices over. “Yup. You?” she replies, popping the `p`.

“Apple pie. Electricity. Superbowl” he lists of with a dreamy expression on his face. She hums and looks over her cards, planning her first move.

“Good choice, Sir” she praises theatrically and he chuckles with a equally humorous “Why, thank you, miss”, making her snort a laugh. She liked Rick. He was easy to talk to and pretty earnest. And she could tell that he was good man. “Got any threes?” she asks and he frowns at his cards, then hums a reply, handing one over. “Aces?” he asks, and she sighs and hands one over, Rick looking awfully smug.

“If you knew Daryl all those years, that means you knew Merle too, right?” he concludes and she blows out her cheeks in a `ugh` sort of way. “Unfortunately..” she replies and he looks amused by that respons.

“So was he always like that?” Rick asks and she raises an eyebrow.

“Was he always such an asshole, you mean?” she quips and he laughs merrily with this twinkle in his eye that says that it was exactly what he meant. “Pretty much. I avoided him as much as possible, but he just kept showing up whenever and wherever you wanted his company least. He ain`t so bad if you get him alone, but in a group, oi..” she says, shaking her head.

Her face takes on a more somber tone. “I hated how he treated Daryl sometimes. Always getting him into trouble, ordering him around.. But with the way those boys were raised, I guess he just didn`t know any better. They never knew love or kindness. Their father was the worst, the things he did.. That man was just plain evil..” she continues, an old anger flaring up in her eyes for a moment before she pushes it back down.

“Was it really that bad?” Rick asks curiously, though he`s not really that surprised after everything he`s heard from the others.

“It was bad..” she says with a shudder. Rick frowns. “What did he do?” he asks, but Jay shakes her head seriously. “Not my story to tell” she says pointedly and he nods.

He could respect that.

 

#

 

Around dawn the next day, she wakes up when a warm hand shakes her shoulder gently.

“Jay?”. She recognises Rick`s voice and mumbles a sleepy reply. He sighs and shakes her again.

“Come on, now. You`re gonna hurt your back if you keep sleeping like that” he coaches and she opens her eyes slowly. It took a few moments for her to get her bearings, when she did she realised she`d fallen asleep in the tower last night, half draped over the table.

She groans. “Damn.. Some company I turned out to be, huh?” she says sheepishly and he chuckles. “Happens to the best of us” he muses as she stretches and yawns noisily.

 

When she went inside to find some breakfast she nearly did a double take at the poisonous glare she received from Rick`s wife, Lori. What on earth? She sat down at the table beside Hershel and looked at him with confusion. “Did I miss something?” she asks, discretely gesturing towards Lori. He takes a long sip from his mug before answering.

“Well, it is my understanding that you spent the night with her husband. I believe she took some offense to that” he says calmly, his eyes crinkling with amusement as Jay`s jaw drops.

“But it wasn`t like that! I just fell asleep while we were playing cards!” she defends animately, and Hershel pats her arm reassuringly, showing her that he believes her.

“I thought as much, but she doesn`t know that now, does she?” he says with a knowing smile and she nearly facepalms, slumping her shoulders in exasperation.

“Great.. Haven`t even been here two weeks and I`ve already managed to piss someone off..” she breathes. Hershel clears his throat, gaining her attention and inclines his head towards her left, saying; “I think there`s more than just one angry party in this”.

She follows his line of sight and meets Daryl`s cold stare as he shoulders his crossbow and stomps outside. Her stomach dropped and her heart ached. Of course he`s pissed, he brought her here and already she`s making trouble, even if it wasn`t intentional. After that little spat they had in the wash room, he probably thinks she stirred up trouble just to get back at him for brushing her off..

Maybe she shouldn`t have come here at all..

 

 


	5. I`d die for you

Daryl was trailing through the woods in a furious pace, punching any lowhanging branches in his way.

Fucking Rick Grimes! Wasn`t one woman enough for him or something?! Did he have to go and take hi-Jay too?! And why the fuck would she-?..

Guess he wasn`t good enough for her.. Of course he wasn`t.. He never had been.. Hadn`t he been told that all his life..?

He was stupid to have thought that maybe...

His fuming was drawing attention and he soon found himself fighting off several walkers. But those poor dead sons of bitches didn`t know what they were messing with that day. By the time he was done there was blood and guts spread across a rather impressive portion of the woods.

 

#

 

Meanwhile Jay had spent the morning clearing up the misunderstanding with Lori. Lori had eventually confided in her, told her about what happened with Shane and the strain it had put on her marriage. That`s why she thought something had happened between them up in the tower, that Rick had taken revenge or something. Jay felt sorry for her, because she could see how hard Lori was trying to make it up to him, but she knew that some wounds just ran too deep, and that this might be one of them. Rick was just as miserable, she could see in his eyes anytime he looked at Lori, but she figured he just wasn`t ready to forgive her yet.

Daryl didn`t return until just after nightfall, covered in blood and dirt, two rabbits hanging from a strap over his shoulder. He didn`t even look at Jay as he went by. But then she didn`t really expect him to, he hadn`t heard the truth yet. So she hoped he`d come around once he did.

She was wrong...

Days passed by and he was still avoiding her like the plague. Jay had given up on trying to figure out what he was so pissed about. No matter how much it hurt to see him ignore her and walk the other way if he spotted her, she would just let him go..

 

#

 

“We`re going on a run, and I want you to come with” Rick announced out of the blue as she was cleaning up a small cut on Beth`s hand inside of Hershel`s cell. Jay looked up from where she was sitting in surprise. Beth looked kind of surprised too. “Oh? Alright, just give me ten minutes and I`ll be ready” Jay says and he simply nods and walks away. She looks at Beth who just shrugs. She sighs and finishes up with Beth`s hand before going. In her cell she grabs her knives and tucks them in her belt. She digs out a dark denim jacket from the one bag she owns and puts it on, sets her hair up into a ponytail and heads outside to find Rick.

She sees Glenn leaning against a car with a rifle across his left shoulder, talking to Rick who`s looking intently at a map he`s got spread over the hood. Glenn looks at her and frowns. “You`re not packing?” he asks confused and she pulls back her jacket to reveal the knives in her belt. He smiles and nods in approval. “So, where are we going, guys?” she asks, shoving her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. Rick looks up from his map. “We`re hitting the hospital. As you know, Lori is pregnant and we`re going to need some more medical supplies and equipment for Hershel to deliver the baby safely. And besides, people get hurt all the time now, and so we need all the help we can get” Rick says and Jay nods in agreement. “Makes sense. But a hospital? Won`t it be crawling with walkers?” she asks worriedly. Rick nods. “It`s possible, which is why there`s going to be five of us on this run” he says and she frowns. She`s just about to ask who else is coming when she spots Daryl and Maggie heading their way, and she groans internally. _Well, this should be fun_ , she thinks.

She rides up front with Rick, while Maggie and Glenn ride in the back. Daryl drives his motorcycle ahead of the car.. The silent treatment he was giving her was like a knife in her heart. She couldn`t understand why he was so angry.. Surely he knew by now that it was all a misunderstanding? And even if he didn`t, why would he be _that_ pissed off by her supposedly sleeping with Rick? It didn`t make any sense to her.

She could see the wings on his vest underneath the crossbow strapped to his back. “Can`t believe he still wears that thing” she muses to herself, but Rick hears her. “Wears what?” he asks, and she points to Daryl`s back. “That vest. Believe it or not, those wings used to be white..” she says and Rick smiles a little. Maggie leans forward between the seats, intrigued. “What was he like, before the virus and all?” she asks. Jay frowns in thought. “Much like he is now, just more shy and less angry..” she replies quietly, memories flooding her head. Then she smiles and turns to Maggie. “He`s gotten better at talking to women though. Back then you could barely get a full sentence out of the man without him stumbling on his own tongue and turning redder than a prime cherry” she tells her all secret-like, and Maggie shares in her amusement, both girls giggling. “Were you and him ever...?” she trails off, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Jay snorts, shaking her head and blushing. “Nah, we were never like that”. Her heart aching a little at the thought. Something must have shown on her face because Maggie suddenly looked more somber. “But you wanted to?” she says, a conclusion more than a question. Jay could have lied or just laughed it off, but for some reason she told the truth. “Always did” Then she looks longingly after the man in question. “Always will..” she adds in a slight whisper, probably not even realising she said it out loud. But Maggie heard, and so did Rick.

 

#

 

Coming up on the parkinglot everyone`s one high alert. There`s a few scattered vehicles, a handful of dead bodies between them, but other than that it`s pretty quiet outside the hospital. The quiet sets Jay`s teeth on edge though. “I don`t like it, Rick. It`s too quiet..” she says as they exit the car. Maggie and Glenn gives her a look that tells Jay that she`s not the only one. “Yeah, I noticed” he replies with a slight frown, then starts gearing up for action. Daryl stands a few steps away, keeping his distance from Jay, his gaze firmly set on the hospital. “We`ll head in through the back. Daryl and I will take point. Glenn, Maggie, you guys take the rear. Jay, I want you in the middle since it`s your first run with us. Eyes open people” Rick orders and they all nod in acknowledgement.

Opening the back door was like sounding the dinner bell..

 

“Well, I hate to say I told you so, but-” Jay breaks off, stabbing a walker through the eye and kicking it away from her with a grunt, “- _I told you so_!” she finishes, panting a bit as she moved on to next rotting threat. Rick holds a heavy walker back by it`s arms, letting Daryl come up and stab it. “Yeah, yeah, I hear you” he grumbles under his breath as he let`s the finally dead walker drop to the floor, ducking away from the reach of another, which Glenn takes down with a machete. The hospital really was crawling with walkers, just like she thought it would be. They weren`t even halfway in yet and already they were starting to get overwhelmed by the seemingly endless stream of hungry corpses pouring into the hallways. Maggie screams as a walker catches her by the hair. “Oh no you don`t!” Jay growls, the men turning just in time to see her jump onto the walker`s back, viciously stabbing it in the head, feral growl escaping her throat as she rides it to the floor. Rick seems mildly impressed, but Daryl just scoffs. Getting up quickly she receives a breathless nod of thanks from Maggie and a grateful look from Glenn, before they continue on further into the building. Daryl nails a walker right between the eyes as they turn the next corner, Rick stepping forward, collecting the arrow and handing it back to Daryl.

Jay sees a sign that says supply room and signals the others. Rick opens the door and immidiately three walkers push their way out. An arrow flies straight past her ear an into the head of the one closest to her, and Jay feels the urge to roll her eyes. “Show-off” she mutters to herself and stabs the next one through the underside of it`s chin, just to make a point, Rick killing the last one. She steps past them and into the supply room. Jay starts filling a bag with bandages, antibiotics, syringes, sutures, rubbing alcohol, pain killers and pretty much everything else she finds useful. “We`re gonna take a look further in. Will you be alright here?” Rick asks and Maggie says she`ll stay with her, so she nods. Rick and Daryl walks off and Glenn follows behind after a quick kiss with Maggie. Jay smiles wryly at the two. They`re too damn cute, she thinks.

She breaks open the lock on one of the side cabinets and spots something that makes her smile. “Hey, Maggie!” she calls, turning around with a suitcase-like device. “Portable ultrasound” she explains and she grins. “Take it” she says and Jay nods, carrying it along with her. Hershel and Lori will love this, she thinks to herself.

 

#

 

“Jay!! Maggie!!” Glenn shouts, panic clear in his voice. “What?” Maggie calls back, feeling of dread filling them both. Even more so when he comes into view, panting and a look of horror on his face. “They`re trapped! Daryl and Rick, they`re both trapped!” he says and both women drop everything in their hands, running after Glenn as he leads the way through the twists and turns of the hospital hallways.

Jay curses under her breath, she knew it was a bad idea to split up. Rushing into the cafeteria, she sees what Glenn is talking about straight away. Rick and Daryl are cornered and surrounded in the small kitchen area. The only thing separating them from the snapping jaws of over a dozen former patients are two tall shelf units they have pulled between them as a wall. They are holding onto the shelves for dear life as the walkers push and pull on them, trying to reach their desired meals. “I`m out of ammo, and we can`t chop our way through in there, it`s too narrow, it`d be suicide!” Glenn hisses, desperation shining through his eyes. Jay can feel her heart pounding in her chest. Maggie murmurs something in the background, but she doesn`t hear her, all she sees is Daryl. One of the walkers almost manages to bite his arm, he jerks back just in time, and that spurs her into action. “Glenn, you and Maggie find a place to hide, I`m gonna draw them off! Go! Now!” she barks at them, shoving Glenn towards Maggie and leaving no room for arguments. She takes a deep breath to steel herself, then marches towards the kitchen. _This better fucking work!_ She thinks to herself..

Drawing her blade, she cuts her palm deep with a slight hiss, letting the smell of blood into the air. The sting of the cut is dulled by the rush of adrenaline in her system. “Hey Assholes!! Prime meat over here! Come and get it!!” she growls as she smears the blood across her chest to spread the scent more. A few of the walkers turn slowly and look at her with hollow, dead eyes. “That`s right! You don`t want them! You want me! I promise I taste gooood!” she drawls loudly, and all but one or two starts moving towards her. She hears the guys shouting at her to stop, to run away, but she ignores them. When she catches Daryl`s horrified, pleading eyes, she merely gives him a determined look before she starts backing up, leading the dead away from them. Better me than _him_ , she thinks. “Come on! Show me how much you want it!” she coaches, moving a little faster now as some of them seem to catch up to her.

 

#

 

As soon as they`re out of immidiate danger, a seething Daryl grabs Glenn by the front of his shirt and shakes him, screaming in his face. “How could ya let her do that?!? The fuck`s wrong with ya`ll!!”. Glenn doesn`t fight him at all, his teary eyes filled with guilt and worry. Maggie tries to tear Daryl off of her fiancè, but doesn`t succeed until Rick joins in to pull him back. “I`m sorry!” Glenn says brokenly. It had all happened so fast and he was so worried about keeping Maggie safe that he didn`t think twice about getting her away, leaving Jay to draw the walkers away alone. Daryl growls and struggles violently against Rick, but he`s got his arms pinned behind his back. When Rick finally lets him go, he kicks the nearest car hard enough to shatter the windows on one side, screaming in anger.

Daryl felt like he couldn`t breathe. He`d been so angry at her, so jealous of Rick, even after he found out that nothing had happened between them that night. She didn`t do anything wrong, but he still couldn`t bring himself to apologise, even when he`d see the hurt in her eyes every time he walked out of whatever room she walked into. And right now, he couldn`t understand _why_ he had treated her like that.. He was the one who pushed _her_ away, snapped at her for no good reason, avoided her when she tried to reach out to him.. And even though he had treated her like a villain, she still saved him.. She saved him and Rick.. Was she dead? Did she die thinking he hated her?

 

#

 

Rick, Glenn and Maggie loaded up the car with the supplies they`d managed to get, while sharing sad and worried looks, glancing over at Daryl who was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. Rick wished he could say something to comfort the man, but he couldn`t find the words.

They all sprung to attention when they heard boots hitting the ground fast, heading their way. Everyone drew weapons, even as they hoped.. The sound of running was getting louder and louder, Daryl held his breath as he got to his feet. Then Jay appeared, rounding the corner at full speed, nearly falling on her face as she tried to slow to a stop in front of them. She bent forward, panting heavily while resting her hands on her knees. Rick and the others lowered their weapons and sighed in relief, smiling. “I hope to God, that one of you, picked up the shit I was supposed to carry, cuz I sure as hell ain`t going back in there!” she managed to say breathlessly, her chest heaving, sweaty and red from all the running. She looked up at their relieved and smiling faces when no immidiate reply came, and frowned. “What?” she panted.

Daryl didn`t smile, didn`t say anything, just closed the gap between them in three strides and wrapped her up in his arms. It took her a few seconds to catch up to what was happening and hug him back. He was squeezing the hell out of her, but she didn`t mind. It felt damn good to be in his arms again, to know that he still cared about her. “I`m alright..” she murmured against his neck, allowing herself one more moment to feel him close, before pulling away reluctantly and turning to the others.

“I don`t mean to stress anyone out, but those folks I invited for dinner probably aren`t too far behind me..” she urged and the group got the message; Walkers on the way, get moving. She headed towards the car, but Daryl grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She looked at him with questioning eyes, but the look he gave her back told her everything. He wasn`t going to let her out of his sight again, so she was riding with him, period! She let him drag her along like a toddler to the bike and climbed on behind him, locking her arms around his waist as they drove off. She couldn`t help but smile as she rests her cheek against his back, shielding her eyes from the wind.

 

Rick was smiling too as he drove behind them, so was Maggie and Glenn. He hoped that this was what Daryl needed to get his head out his ass. Happiness is hard to find nowadays, you got to grab on to it if you`re lucky enough to find it..

 

#

 

Back at the prison, Daryl was quiet as he kneeled in front of Jay while she sat on the edge of the bed in her cell. He had insisted on taking care of her himself, instead of Hershel, so he was pouring rubbing alcohol onto a cotton ball and gently cupped her hand in his. She sucks in a sharp breath as he starts dabbing the cut inside her palm, and he looked up briefly with apologetic eyes. “Sorry..” he says quietly, exchanging the cotton for a wet cloth he`d made ready and carefully cleans the blood from her hand. “It`s okay..” she whispers. He`s touching her with such gentleness and care that it almost makes her cry. Dixon men aren`t exactly known for their tenderness, and even though she`s always known different, it still surprises her that she gets to see this side of him. He applies some antibiotic cream next, still keeping his touch as soft as possible. “Didn`t jus` mean for _this_..” he says, a slight tremble in his voice now. He could have lost her today.. She was willing to _die,_ for _him_ , even after the shitty way he`d treated her.. “I know” she says gently and he looks up at her, she smiles a little. There`s warmth in her eyes, _forgiveness_.. He doesn`t deserve it, he thinks.

He starts wrapping her hand with bandages, keeping his head down now so she doesn`t see the tears that are starting to burn in his eyes. But somehow she knows, _she always knows_ , and as soon as he has tied off the bandage, she lifts his chin up and gently cups his face. The tenderness she holds him with and the understanding in her eyes is too much for Daryl and he makes a choked sound in his throat, tears finally escaping their bounds. “`m so sorry, Jay” he croaks and she hushes him, pulling him to her. He sinks fully to his knees then, arms around her hips, his face buried in her shirt. She feels his silent sobs against her belly as she keeps making hushing sounds, combing her fingers through his hair with her undamaged hand and cupping his neck with the bandaged one. “It`s okay, Daryl..” she whispers to him and his grip around her tightens for a moment.

When he eventually pulls back, he quickly wipes his face with the back of his hand. Slightly embarrassed for crying in front of someone, in front of _her_ , even though it`s not exactly the first time. She cups his cheeks again and he looks up at her, the same vulnerability in his eyes as he had back then in her old house, and she can`t help it. She leans forward kisses him softly. His breath hitches in his chest, his entire body going rigid in a split second. She starts to pull away thinking she`s made a mistake, that he doesn`t want this, but he grabs her and yanks her back to him. Kissing her hard and clumsily, more eagerness than skill, but she doesn`t care. She slides herself off of the bed and into his lap, her arms looping around his neck, while his hands settles on her waist. Jay coaxes him gently to slow down, to match her pace. He sighs softly against her lips as they find a rythm, like he`s been dying of thirst and she`s water..

 When they finally break from the kiss, they rest their forheads against each other, eyes closed as they catch their breath. “I`ve wanted to do that for a _very_ long time” she admits quietly and he smiles. “Me too..” he says, just as quietly.

 

#

 

Daryl looks at Jay`s sleeping form as she lies curled into his side. A lock of her hair has strayed from the rest and lies across her nose, fluttering with every exhale, it`s pretty cute. He still can`t believe all this.. _Jay Larson_ , in his arms, and they had kissed..

They had talked quietly for a while, about everything and nothing. Well, _she_ talked more than he did, since he`s never been that much of a talker in the first place. But he listened, and he did manage to tell her about how he`d been so jealous of Rick, even before the tower-misunderstanding, and she had smiled and said that there was only one man for her, and his name wasn`t Rick Grimes. He blushed a little then.

She asked him if that was why he`d been acting so weird and tense around her even before the Rick-thing, and he thought about it for a moment. Then he said it was, but it was also because he liked her so much and he didn`t know how to deal with it. That last part had been more mumbled than spoken, but she heard. He was always uncomfortable when it came to talking about _feelings_. She had chuckled a little then and made some remark about it having to be a Dixon-trait or something. He couldn`t argue with that.

 

That little stunt she had pulled with the walkers back at the hospital had taken a lot out of her, so it wasn`t too long before her eyes started drooping. He noticed and in a moment of courage, he`d laid down on her bed and opened his arms to her. She had snuggled up to him, rested her head on his chest with a smile and fell asleep pretty fast.

As he laid there listening her soft breathing, his mind worked overtime. Did this make them a _thing_? He hoped so, but at the same time it scared the shit out of him. He`d never really been in any kind of relationship before.. There had been girls, sure, but none that mattered, and none that ever stuck around. So he wasn`t really sure how to do this, but there was no way in hell he was going to walk away. He`s wanted her for too damn long to just let her slip through his fingers like that.. Besides, she already knows how awkward he could be about certain things. She knows about his family, his past, his scars, _everything_ that he was usually ashamed of, and she _still_ wants to be with him.. That has to count for something, right?

 

 


	6. Kisses and babies

Jay woke up feeling warm and oh so comfy. It took a few seconds for her to recognise why, and when she did she smiled. She was halfway sprawled on top of a certain redneck.. “Ya have a nice nap?” he asks, voice tinged with amusement, and she chuckles, resting her chin on his chest while looking up into those beautiful blue eyes of his. “mmm, very nice..” she replies sleepily and he smirks a little. She drops a kiss to his chest, taking in his scent and humming in contentment. She loved the way he smelled. Like pine trees, leather, sweat, a little bit of motor oil and something else, something that`s uniquely _Daryl_. She runs her hands up his sides slowly, ruffling his shirt and nuzzles his sternum, planting a few more kisses. His breathing picks up a little, his heart pounding loud enough for her to hear. She looks up and sees him watching her every move, and oh there`s lust in those eyes, but there`s also a little fear, so she moves up to lie beside him instead, kissing him softly. He kisses her back, still a little clumsily. Hesitant, like he`s not entirely sure if he`s allowed to, but wants to very much.

Daryl doesn`t really know how to just _make out_ with someone. He knows sex, or well, drunken quickies in bars and whatever porn he`s watched over the years. But he never cared about any of those women. He was never _close_ or affectionate with anyone. And with Jay, it`s like every touch, every kiss she gives him, however chaste, sets him on fire. It also makes him really fucking nervous. He doesn`t want to screw this up, scare her away. She was the first person to ever accept him exactly the way he is, and though he found some of that same acceptance with the group, she`ll always be the first.

He kisses her one last time, sweetly, before pulling back and just looking at her. She plays a little with his hair, the runs her fingers gently along his cheek, his jawline, like she`s memorizing him. He lets her explore. “Do I seem different to ya?” he asks curiously and she smiles a little as she thinks about it. “Hmm.. Your hair`s longer.. And you didn`t have as much scruff before” she muses as she scrathes her nails along said scruff. “You are different. More confident. You stand up straighter, you talk more. Like you know who you are now..” she says and he ducks his head a little. “That a bad thing?” he asks hesitantly, she shakes her head, smiling. “No, it`s good. I`m glad you`re finally seeing it” she says and he frowns. “Seeing what?” he wonders. “That you have worth. You`re a good man, Daryl. I always knew you were. And now I think you`re starting to see it too” she says fondly and he blushes.

 

#

 

Hershel eventually calls her out from their little bubble and raises both eyebrows when he sees that she`s not alone in bed, then an amused expression takes it place soon after. “So that`s why Rick said not to disturb you unless _absolutely_ necessary” he muses and Jay chuckles, while Daryl sits up quickly, head ducked down as if he`s expecting to be yelled at or something. “I was wondering how long it would take before Lori found out about the ultrasound. I knew he couldn`t keep her distracted forever” she says wryly as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “Yes, well, mother knows and mother is impatient” Hershel quips and leaves, presumably to return to said impatient mother. Jay puts her boots back on and looks to Daryl, who`s still very tense. “You okay?” she asks concerned and he nods, but doesn`t look at her. She sighs and touches his arm, he startles a little but at least he looks up now.

“I think I know where your head just went, and I could smack you for even thinking it” she says sternly and he blinks in surprise. She stands up and finds her black hoodie, pulling it on to cover the bloody shirt underneath. “I won`t hide whatever this is” she says, gesturing between them, “and I could never be ashamed of you” she finishes with a kiss to his forhead. The corners of his mouth twitches into a shy smile while his shoulders relaxes. “How`d ya know?” he asks quietly, and she raises an eyebrow. “Experience” she replies simply before heading to Hershel`s place.

 

#

 

_Jay walked into the diner with some her friends. They were known around town as the cool kids, though most of them were over 21 and could hardly be called kids anymore. There was Johnny, the `leader`. Leah, the slut. Mary, the prom queen. Mark, the troublemaker. And Jay, the sweet one._

_Merle and Daryl were halfway through their burgers when they walked in, and Merle saw Daryl visibly tense. He turned around and saw why, and smirked. “Ten bucks says your lil` girlfriend won`t even say hi to ya” he muses and Daryl scowls at him. “She ain`t my girlfriend” he growls lowly and Merle chuckles. “Whatever ya say lil` brother” he says, taking another bite of his burger, still chuckling. Daryl just stares at his plate, shoulders pulled taught in apprehension. Merle is right, there`s no way she`ll talk to me with her friends here, he thinks._

_A shadow forms on the table and he looks up through his bangs, and there she is. “Hey Daryl. Haven`t seen you in a while” Jay says, a gentle smile on her face. “Hey.. I.. I`ve been busy..” he says, looking nervously towards the table her friends have taken, he sees the incredious looks their sending his way. “What, ya not gonna say hello to me too?” Merle pipes up and Jay rolls her eyes, making Daryl hide a small smirk. “Hi Merle” she says with mock sweetness, before turning back to Daryl. “We`re going to a party later, at Jenna`s place. You`re welcome to come if you want to?” she asks and Daryl looks at her, then her friends, then her again. “Maybe some other time..” he says quietly. Jay frowns, looks back at her friends and then she gets it. “If you don`t like my friends, we could do something else, just you and me? Maybe catch a movie or something?” she suggests and he looks up in surprise. Even Merle is speechless for once._

_Since he doesn`t say anything, she decides for him, turning back towards her friends she calls; “I`m not in a real party-mood, guys. So you can just go to Jenna`s with out me, alright?”. Johnny scoffs, shaking his head. “You`d rather hang out with trash?” he says lewdly. Daryl bristles but bites his tongue. “Nah, that`s why I`m hanging with Daryl instead” she shoots back, making Mark and Leah laugh out loud, even Mary chuckles a little. They all know that Johnny`s been trying to get with Jay for years, but she can`t stand him, never could. Daryl`s eyes are wide and incredious. Nobody ever speaks up for him, except Merle. “Scoot over” she orders, and he does. She slides into the booth next to him and shouts to the waitress; “Hey Stella, can I get a burger and a coke please?”. Stella smiles warmly and nods. “So, what`ve you boys been up to lately?” she asks with a smile, and Merle starts laughing. He likes this girl, and by the way Daryl is blushing and sneaking looks at her, he guesses that his lil`brother does too._

 

#

 

“Ooh, that`s cold!” Lori breathes as Jay applies the gel to her swollen belly. Hershel smiles and Jay chuckles. “I know, it`ll warm up soon. In the meantime, why don`t we see how the baby`s doing?” she says and Lori nods eagerly. Jay puts the transducer to her skin and moves it through the gel in slow circles, until Hershel signals her to stop with a raised finger. “There!” he says and Jay leans a little towards the screen and smiles. “Yup, it`s a baby alright. There`s the head and the shoulders, and.. Oh! You wanna know the sex?” Jay asks looking back at her. Lori looks to Rick who`s standing in the doorway with his right arm around Carl`s shoulders. He grins and nods. “It`s a girl!” she sing-songs and if Lori smiles any wider her head might split in two, Rick and Carl`s not too far behind. “She looks to be doing very well” Hershel says and Jay nods in agreement. “Definitely. Her vitals are strong, she`s fully formed and honestly kinda chubby, she`s obviously been getting the good stuff!” Jay jokes and they all laugh. “I`d say we`ll be seeing her in about two-three weeks” she adds and Hershel nods, Lori smiles but there`s concern in her eyes. Jay understands why, but there`s not really anything she can say to relieve that fear. She had a C-section with Carl, and there`s no way to tell if she`ll need one with this baby too until she`s in labour.

 

#

After the ultrasound, Jay and Hershel tidied up the cell and started sorting through all the other medical supplies they had obtained at the hospital run. If God forbid there`s an emergency, it wouldn`t do to spend a lot of time looking through boxes for say bandages for example. Organized and easily accessible would be vital in certain circumstances. “Jay, if you would, I`d like to hear your thoughts on the upcoming birth” Hershel suddenly says. Jay sighs, putting aside the antibiotics she had been sorting, meeting the older man`s gaze. “I think that the chances of Lori surviving a C-section are slim to none.. And I really hope it won`t come to that..” she says somberly. Hershel nods slowly, then sits on the bed, patting the spot beside him. Jay takes the invitation and sits down. “What can be done to improve her odds?” he asks calmly, just going through the facts, as any doctor would before any procedure. “Our main concern will be bloodloss, and that`s where I might be able to help” she says thoughtfully. Hershel studies her expectantly. “I`m O negative” she explains and a look of understanding comes over him. “Universal donor.. You want to do a tranfusion” he says and she nods. “I can at least give her fighting chance if we have to do the C-section, but I`m only one person, I don`t have an infinite supply of blood, so you`ll only have a small window to stop the bleeding” she says quietly. Hershel takes her hand and squeezes it gently with a soft look. “Sometimes a chance is all that is needed. We`ll do our best, and the rest is up to the Lord” he says and she smiles a little, giving his hand a light squeeze back.

#

 

Jay runs into Daryl on her way back to her cell and smiles at him, his gruff expression softens as he sees her smile. Noticing the crossbow across his shoulder she asks; “You on watch tonight?”. He nods, shuffling his feet a little, unsure as ever. “Ya took a long time, `s Lori and the baby alright?” he asks quietly. “It`s a girl” she says tiredly and he hums. “So I heard” he replies, looking at his feet. “Me and Hershel went through all the stuff we got from the hospital, never hurts to be organized. That`s what took so long. And Lori is fine, so`s the baby” she tells him and he frowns a little. “But..?” he prompts, sensing there`s more to it. “ _But_ , I`m worried about the birth. She had to have a C-section with Carl, so..” she trails off and Daryl pauses for a moment, then nods slowly as he realises what she means. He looks up and sees how tired she is. Hell, the woman`s practically dead on her feet, he thinks. “Ya should get some rest” he says gently, she smiles and hums in agreement. He turns to leave, then stops and turns back, fidgeting a little before a look of determination settles on him and he leans in, planting a quick, but firm kiss on her lips before walking away hastely. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens a bit in her stunned surprise. Then she puts a hand to her mouth to mask a quiet chuckle.

So that`s what a good night kiss from Daryl Dixon is like, she muses to herself. _God, that man`s adorable.._

 

_#_

 

Rick was standing watch when Daryl entered the tower, and he noticed that the redneck seemed a little hesitant in approaching him. “Are you taking over watch duty?” he asks and Daryl nods, taking a look outside the windows. “Sure you wouldn`t rather spend some time with your girl?” Rick asks seriously, watching the other man stiffen a little. “Nah, she`s sleepin`. Let her rest” he mutters as he lights a cigarette. Rick smiles to himself, he`d half expected Daryl to deny it, but he didn`t. That`s a good sign, he thinks. “Alright, well I`ll see you in the morning then” he says and heads down the ladder, getting only a slight grunt in reply.

 

#

 

Late the next morning Jay wakes up slowly. The others had let her sleep in since she was so exhausted the night before. She stretches languidly and feels something brush up her leg, climbing onto the bed. She smiles. “How was watch?” she asks sleepily and slowly open her eyes. But she`s not greeted by Daryl`s blue eyes, instead she`s staring into the rotting face of what used to be prisoner nr 784, according to the number attached to the corpse`s jumpsuit. She screams..

 

 


	7. Tragedy and hope

“Walkers!!”

That single word, screamed in terror, turned Daryl`s blood to ice. Not because of the word it self or what it represented, not because of the fear in the voice of the messenger, but because it was shouted from the prison, _inside_ the fence. How the fuck did that happen?? He ran from the tower, meeting Rick and Hershel on the way, as the three men ran as fast as their legs could carry them towards where Carl and Maggie where shooting walkers left and right. “Where the hell are they coming from??!!” Rick shouts, shooting a walker in the head in passing as he reaches his son. “I don`t know! Dad, they`re inside too!” the boy says shakily and the men exchanges looks of horror before bolting for the entrance. Daryl only has one thought; _Jay_..

 

#

 

The walker was growling and grabbing, clawing at Jay`s clothes as she screamed and used all her strength just to hold his jaws away from her skin, her hands half on his throat and half on his chin. How the fuck did it get in here? The stench of him was almost unbearable this close as he pinned her to the bed under his weight. Her arms were reaching their breaking point, he was a heavy son of a bitch. She inevitably thought of Danny and Tom as she trashed and twisted underneath him, and she felt a rage fill her, turning her vison red. The anger fueled her and somehow she managed to get her legs up underneath him, when she had a firm footing against his mangled chest, she kicked with everything she had, sending the walker flying backwards off of the bed. She shot out of the bed, grabbed her knives from the side table and straddled the walker. As she stabbed him with both blades, one in each eye socket, she felt something dark inside of her rejoice. Her chest was heaving, adrenaline pumping wildly through her veins. She heard a scream from somewhere inside the prison and yanked her knives out of the body beneath her, standing up slowly. She was ready..

 

#

 

Daryl and Rick were an unstoppable force as they moved across the prison yard, taking out walkers one by one. Hershel backed up Glenn at the fence, while Maggie and Carl ran to Lori to get her inside, find a safe place for her and her unborn child to wait it out.

Rick had his Python in one hand and a machete in the other, Daryl has shouldered his crossbow and just uses his machete. He wanted to go inside and find Jay, make sure she was alright. But securing the yard and finding the point of breach was more important than any one person. He knew that. Didn`t make it any easier though. So when he saw her coming out of the prison, bloody knives in both hands and kicking some serious walker ass, he was so relieved that he actually felt a little dizzy.

Jay had barely stepped outside before she was faced with another bad case of morning breath -dead morning breath- as a corpse missing half it`s face was trying to give her a lovebite.. She kicked the legs of the walker from underneath it, sending it crashing to the ground before she stomped on it`s head, the action produced a satisfying squishing sound with an underlying crack from crushing the skull. She didn`t stop there, she just moved right on to the next. Grabbing another walker by the throat and stabbing through the temple, sidestepping it as it fell. She saw Daryl and Rick, which made her release a breath of relief. Thank God, he was alright..

 

#

 

 

It took at least an hour before they were starting to regain control of the prison, it hard to tell. It was complete chaos, dead prisoners and guards popping up from seemingly everywhere. They were standing out back, trying to catch their breaths while they could, when the back door swung open.

Jay soon found herself staring in shock at the tiny, bloody and screaming creature that was being put into her arms by a shaky and crying Maggie Green. A baby.. “No, no, no!” she vaguely heard Rick cry from somewhere near by. She wasn`t really able to grasp anything except the infant she was holding. Lori was dead... Jay hadn`t saved her like she had hoped she could..

T-Dog and Carol were missing.. They were probably dead too.. How could this happen? Another cry from the little one snapped her out of it enough to start functioning again. Beth was looking over Jay`s shoulder at the baby, while Hershel was making a makeshift nursing table out of a barrel and some jackets. The baby had to be cleaned and wrapped up in something warmer at the very least, and it needed food, shit! She turned to Hershel, but he was already one step ahead of her. He told Daryl that the baby would need formula or it was gonna die.

Daryl looked at Jay and the baby in her arms, and Daryl shook his head. “Nope, no way.. Not her. We ain`t losin` nobody else, I`m goin` for a run.. Come on! We`re gonna lose the light!” He yelled as he headed right for his bike. Jay looks to Maggie who seems to have recovered, sending her look, a silent request written into it. Maggie understands, she gives Jay a nod and follows Daryl. She`ll make sure he doesn`t do anything stupid or reckless. “Jay” Hershel calls, gesturing to the baby. She places it on the jackets and starts examining the small girl with Hershel.

#

 

 

The baby was healthy, which was something at least. They cleaned her and wrapped her up as well as they could manage. Jay craddled the little girl in her arms and cried quietly, whispering to her that she was so sorry that she couldn`t save her momma. Jay made a silent vow to always protect this child, no matter what, for as long as she lived. It was the least she could do. Jay was startled when a hand touched her shoulder, but relaxed when she saw it was Daryl. She wondered how long she had stood there lost in thought, since he was back already. She also noticed that Beth was preparing a bottle, so obviously they had found formula somewhere. That was a relief.

“She got a name yet?” Daryl asked Carl as he put the bottle to the baby`s lips. Jay was surprised by his skills with the little one, not to mention the way he had just plucked her from Jay`s arms without hesitation. But then, she guessed it was the adults he was uncomfortable with, not the children. Carl started listing all the names of the women they had known that had died, and the air filled with sadness. Jay stepped up behind Carl and put her arms around him, offering what little comfort she could.

“Ya like that? Huh? Lil` Asskicker?” Daryl says and they all smile. “Right? That`s a good name, right? Lil`Asskicker?” he adds with a smile, making the group laugh. “Ya like that, huh? Ya like that sweetheart?” he cooes to the baby and Jay feels her love for the man grow, she`s never heard his voice sound so sweet before. He would make a great dad, she thought, and it pained her to think that..

“Where`s she gonna sleep?” Daryl asks and Carl looks up to Jay for help, she smiles at him softly. “Well, I was thinking we could put another matress into Carls place and take turns for a while. I`ll stay with them tonight. Just until we figure something out. _Lil`Asskicker_ can sleep next to me, she`ll be safer that way, warmer. She has to be fed like every 4 hours or so and I don`t mind getting up with her” Jay says calmly. Carl looks relieved and grateful. Hershel pats her shoulder in approval. There`s a look in Daryl`s eyes as she says this, one that she hasn`t seen in them before. Like sadness, longing, pride and fondness all wrapped into one.

 

#

 

Jay was sitting in a chair with Lil` Asskicker sleeping on her chest, a blanket draped over both. Maggie sat beside them in silence. Daryl and Glenn had gone to look for Rick who had disappeared after learning about Lori`s fate. They were all worried, but everyone grieves in their own way. She just hoped he was okay. The baby fussed a little in her sleep and Jay hushed her softly, stroking her back until she settled again.

“I woke up with a walker on top of me today..” Jay said suddenly, Maggie looked up, wide-eyed. “Felt something climbing onto the bed. Thought it was Daryl. Until I opened my eyes..” she continues. Maggie gapes a little, then smirks. “Wait, are you and Daryl together now?” She asks and Jay chuckles at the sudden excitement in her friend`s eyes. “See, I tell you that a reanimated corpse was trying to eat my face off this morning, and the first thing you ask me is if I`m with Daryl now..” she muses with a headshake and Maggie laughs, a little embarrassed. “Sorry” she says wryly. Jay hums in a `No you`re not` sort of way. “But are you?” she asks again. Jay looks at her, raising an eyebrow, then sighs. “We`re... _something_. I don`t know. We kissed” Jay tells her honestly and Maggie smiles brightly. “Well, whatever you are, I`m happy for you” Maggie says sincerely, making Jay blush a little. It was strange to have this little moment on a day like this, but she figured one has to make the most of life, now more than ever..

 

#

 

“Jay!! Hershel!! Help!” Daryl shouts as he carries an unconscious Carol into the living area. Jay hands the baby to Maggie and rushes over just as Hershel helps Daryl lay the woman down on the closest table. “I found her hiding in a closet” Daryl explains, his eyes wide and concerned. Hershel checks for bite marks while Jay gently lifts Carol`s eye lids one by one, takes her pulse, then lays her head against Carol`s chest to listen to her heart and lungs. “I don`t see any bites” Hershel says and looks to Jay for her assessment as she straightens up again. “Heart and lungs are good. Pupils are a little abnormal, but I think that`s just shock. She`s dehydrated, so let`s see if we can get some water in her, okay?” she says, in full nurse-mode now. Carl runs over with a water bottle and hands it to Daryl who lifts Carol up into a sitting position. Jay helps steady her as Daryl pours a little water on his fingers and drags them over Carol`s lips, to tempt her to wake up enough to drink. It works, she opens her eyes slightly, and drinks as he puts the bottle to her mouth. She coughs a little, but manages to down a few gulps.

Jay gives Daryl a small smile and an encouraging nod, he smiles back, obviously relieved. “You`re doing great, Carol. Just relax, we got you. You`re safe now” she says and Carol looks at her for a moment, tears forming in her eyes. Jay wraps her arms around the older woman and strokes her hair soothingly. “It`s alright, you`re alright” Jay whispers, Carol clutches Jay`s shirt and sobs quietly against her neck. They don`t know exactly what happened yet, but from what they had been able to piece together, T-Dog had died and she had been with him, then somehow she had managed to get away from the walkers and hide. Hershel wrapped a blanket around Carol`s shoulders and she gave him a grateful look.

 

#

 

When nightfall came, Jay wasn`t overly excited about the prospect of going to bed, considering how she had woken up the last time. She walked a little back and forth, softly bouncing the baby in her arms, trying to get her to go sleep. It didn`t take much she discovered, the little one seemed just as exhausted as the rest of them were. Daryl watched them, leaning his shoulder against a wall a few feet away. “You`re good with her” he observes and she turns slightly to look at him. “Side-effect of being a nurse, I guess” she replies a little tiredly. “Ya ever thought `bout havin` one?” he asks hesitantly, knowing how it might sound. Jay sighs, she knew that this would come up sooner or later. She didn`t really like talking about it, but she decided to just push through and get it over with..

“I can`t have kids” she says quietly. He frowns, and she takes a breath before saying; “Ovarian cancer. Had it when I was ten. They got the cancer out of me and all. Saved my life. But I can never have kids..”. She swallowed thickly, talking about always made her a little emotional, but saying it as she was holding a newborn in her arms, that hurt. “`m sorry..” Daryl said, he didn`t know what else to say. He could see that it was painful for her and wished he could comfort her in some way, but he`s never been great with words. They both know that. “It`s okay. You didn`t know” she replies, trying to give him a small smile but it didn`t really happen. “I should get this one to bed. See you in the morning?” she says a little awkwardly, and he just nods, a bit of a lost puppy look in his eyes as she walks into Carl`s cell without looking back.

 

 #

 

Beth took over baby-duty for Jay in the morning, which was a relief. It meant that Jay could finally take a shower and change her clothes. She asked Glenn to stay guard at the door because after yesterday`s events she didn`t feel all that comfortable with being that exposed when she was alone. She was quick about it, just a hurried wash and then she changed into the clothes she brought with her. She opened the door and looked at Glenn. “Thank you for this, I felt so much better knowing you were just outside” she says a little sheepishly and Glenn smiles, a tinge of pride in his eyes. “Any time!” he replies happily as they start walking back into the living quarters. “Sooo.. You and Daryl, huh?” he asks, trying to hide a smirk and failing. Jay shakes her head in slight exasperation. “I`m gonna strangle Maggie..” she mutters under her breath and Glenn laughs.

As they turn the corner she sees Daryl looking between them with narrowed eyes and she sighs. This jealousy thing of his is getting old.. Glenn gives her a raised eyebrow before walking away, leaving the two alone. She walks right up to Daryl and snakes her arms around his waist, feeling him freeze a little as she rests her head on his shoulder. A few heartbeats later he brings his arms up and hugs her back, pulling her closer. “I`m sorry” she whispers and he frowns. “For what?” he asks gruffly. She nuzzles his neck a little before pulling back enough to look into his eyes. “For giving you the brush-off last night.. It`s just a sore subject” she tells him quietly and he hums in understanding, rubbing his thumbs against her lower back. “I get it” he says and she knows he does. She tips her head back a little and kisses him softly. His eyes flutter closed as he moves his lips gently against hers, his scruff tickling her a bit. She feels him smile against her lips. As they pull back and rest their heads against each other, she hums in contentment. “Are you on watch tonight?” she asks, and he shakes his head a little. “Nah, why?” he replies and Jay smiles. “I just sleep better next to you, that`s all..” she says and his heart beats faster. “What `bout the baby?” he asks, suddenly a little breathless. “Beth`s taking her tonight, so I`m all yours” she says sweetly, giving him a chaste kiss. He blushes and smiles shyly.

 

#

 

“So, did you and Glenn figure out where the walkers came from?” Jay asks as they were walking through the woods, checking the traps again. She was happy to be away from the prison for a little while. She had grown close to the group, she cared about all of them, but she had been alone for so long before them and sometimes she just craved the freedom and quiet that came with being out in the wilderness. She knew that Daryl was the same in that way, it was one of the things that made them fit together. “Yeah. Looked like one of the doors leadin` to the other cell-block was only half closed. They must of finally pushed it all the way open, made their way over to our side” he says slowly, keeping his eyes on the tree-line in case of walkers. Jay huffs and shakes her head. “That`s a scary thought.. Like living right next to a ticking bomb, having no idea it was even there..” she thinks out loud, croaching before the first of the traps, brushing aside the leaves to confirm that it`s empty but still working.

“Hershel says that Rick`s been seeing things. Hallucinating..” she says as she straightens up and looks at Daryl. He frowns, a muscle twitching slightly in his jaw. “He`s grieving. He`ll be alright, he jus` needs some time, that`s all” he replies, a little defensive of his friend. Jay bites her lip and nods slowly. “I hope so.. I just wish we could do something to help him, you know?” she sighs. He gently bumps his shoulder into hers. “We are. We`re takin` care of the baby and Carl. That`s something, right?” he says comfortingly. She smiles a little, bumping his shoulder back. “Yeah, you`re right” she replies.

 

#

 

When they got back to the gates, Carl let them in and told Jay that Rick was back in his cell, but that he wasn`t talking to anyone. She shared a look with Daryl, then squeesed Carls shoulder gently before walking inside the prison. She heated up some soup and brought it with her, stopping just outside of Rick`s cell. He was dirty and pale, sitting on the floor with his back up against the wall, his eyes staring into nothing. Jay`s heart ached a little at the sight of him. He was always so strong, always the leader. To see him like this, so broken, it just felt wrong.

She sat down beside him, the bowl of soup in her lap. He didn`t show any signs of even noticing she was there. “You should eat something..” she says quietly, her voice still sounded loud in the silence of the cell. He doesn`t move or make a sound. In fact, if it wasn`t for the occational rise of his chest, she`d think he was dead. She sighed, he needed something to shock him back into reality, so she did something she never thought she`d do.

“I spoke to Maggie. From what she told me, I can safely say that the Iliac artery was severed. That`s one of the main arteries in the abdomen. Lori would have felt the initial cut, but probably not much after that because of the shock. She bled out in under a minute. Most likely her consciousness slipped after less than 10 seconds. There was nothing you could have done, Rick” she says as if reading from a medical report. In the corner of her eye, she sees Rick`s head turn and look at her. The tension is almost unbareable, but she doesn`t flinch. All that can be heard is the sound of them breathing. He faces forward again, and leans his head back against the wall. “Could you and Hershel have saved her?” he asks, his voice rough and hoarse after not using it for a while. Jay thought about it for a moment, going over the procedure in her head, every possible outcome vs the odds and overall statistics. “No.. Even if by some miracle the bloodloss didn`t kill her, the shock would have..” she replies honestly, a single tear trailing down her left cheek.

Rick closes his eyes and just breathes. “Thank you.. For being honest..” he says shakily, surprising her. She hums, then holds the bowl of soup in front of him. “You`re welcome. Now eat!” she says firmly, and he huffs at her but takes the offered bowl..

 

 


	8. Why I love you

“.. _I`m all yours tonight_..”

 

The closer it got to sundown, the more nervous Daryl was becoming.. He did a perimeter check, twice, even though Glenn was on watch and could see far better from the tower than Daryl could from the ground.. Cleaned his gun at least once. Stabbed a few walkers through the fence. Skinned a rabbit.. 

 _Should I bring her flowers or something?_ He wondered anxiously, scratching his neck, then he shook his head.. _Nah, if Glenn sees me pickin` flowers, I`ll never hear the end of it._. If Merle had been around he would have teased him endlessly, probably calling him " _Darylina_ " or some shit like that.

He took a quick shower and changed his shirt, because it couldn`t hurt right? She didn`t say that they were gonna... or anything like that, but if she did want to... at least he`d smell nice, right?

_Fuck, stop being such a pussy!_

 

In the meantime Jay was blissfully unaware of the trouble she had stirred up in Daryl`s head. She was braiding Beth`s hair while Hershel was showing Carl how to feed his baby sister correctly. Both Beth and Jay watched with almost identical smiles on their faces. Carl was so careful with her, like she was made of the finest china. It was cute. And when Hershel praised him on being a fast learner, the boy lit up like a christmas tree, he was so proud. Jay chuckled as she finished the braid and tied it off with a ribbon Carol had supplied her with. “Done” she tells Beth and the girl smiles and runs her fingers along the braid. “Thanks!” she chirps brightly and actually _skips_ over to her father to show off the braid. Jay wonders how that girl manages to always be so cheerful.

 

#

 

As Jay said good night to the others and went up the stairs to her cell, she saw Daryl standing by the entrance, fidgeting. Actually fidgeting would be too mild a word, the man was practically vibrating with nervous energy.. But why wou.... oh.. _Oh_.. She smiled to herself, barely surpressing a giggle. Well, she should have realised the effect her words this morning would have on him, she mused to herself. He looked up when she got closer, smiling shyly. “Hey..” he breathed, eyes flicking rapidly between hers. “Hey yourself” she says cheekily, invading his personal space to kiss him. She actually _feels_ him shiver as their lips touch and she revels in it, that she`s able to do that to him. She pulls back smiling as she sees him blush, takes his hand and leads him inside the cell.

When they are safely behind the small privacy offered by the sheet hanging across the bars, she kisses him again, more passionately this time. Leaning into him. She runs her hands over his hips and pulls him closer. If it was possible to crawl inside the man and be a part of him forever, she would have. For how long had she imagined having him like this? Tasting him, giving him all the love he always deserved but never received? She runs her tongue along his lower lip, asking for entrance, and he grants it eagerly. Daryl makes these delightful little breathy sounds as the kisses grows hotter and wetter. She decides she loves those sounds and wants to hear more of them.

She kisses and nibbles along his jawline and down his neck as she slides her hands down to his ass, rubbing and squeezing those firm globes gently. He moans softly, trying to stay quiet enough so that the others doesn`t hear, but holy shit.. She`s kissing and touching him like she`s been starving for him..  _Wait, when did she unbutton my shirt?_ He thinks, puzzled as she pushes it over his shoulders and off. He stiffens a little as he feels the cold night air hit his back, not used to exposing the scars he bears. Jay`s already seen them all, Hell, she even patched up a few.. But he still feels a little insecure about being this bare in front of her. She notices, he knows she does because her eyes soften and then she kisses him deeply, tracing her fingers across each mark on his back, reassuring him that she`s not at all repulsed by them. 

He tugs on the bottom of her black top, she takes the hint and raises her arms, letting him pull it over her head. She`s not wearing a bra underneath, so he lets out a shaky breath as her tits are exposed to him. He raises a trembling hand and touches one, so carefully, as if he`s afraid to hurt her. She chuckles fondly. Taking both of his hands in hers, she places them almost roughly on her breasts and he looks a bit startled at the action. “I won`t break. Don`t be afraid to touch me” she whispers and he nods nervously, leaning in and kissing her wetly, while slowly daring to explore the soft peaks beneath his hands. She sighs approvingly, making him feel a little bolder, pinching one of her nipples lightly and earning a soft gasp.

As Daryl realises that his pants are being lowered to the floor, he once again wonders how she does that. Undressing him without him actually noticing until whatever piece of clothing in question is coming off, like magic.. She smiles coyly at him as if she knows exactly what he`s thinking. He wouldn`t put it past her.. His legs are shaking a bit as he steps completely out of them, but at least he manages not to trip himself, that would`ve been embarrassing..

She takes a step back and unbuttons her jeans, wiggling her hips a little as she pulls them off. He swallows hard when she drops them beside his on the floor, leaving her in just her red panties in front of him. She`s smiling a bit shyly now as his hungry eyes roves over every inch of her. _She`s so fucking beautiful_.. It feels so surreal to him that she`s offering herself to him like this. A part of him is afraid that it`s just another dream, and that he`ll wake up cold and alone, and miserable..  But then Jay closes the distance between them, and he gulps as she cups his face with one hand and looks at him knowingly. Definitely not a dream..  “Are you alright with this?” she asks gently, and in the back of his mind he thinks that he should probably be the one asking _her_ that, but he swallows his pride and nods. She smiles and leans in, letting her lips brush against his, softly at first, before she presses herself against him, wanting to be as close as possible. She can feel just how _excited_ he is against her lower stomach, and moans into his mouth.

At this point, he`s so hard that it`s almost painful and so the sudden friction on his cock from her pressing herself against him is making him see stars for a second. His heart is pounding in his chest and he feels really dizzy. He starts to panic a little then, because this is way more intense than anything he`s ever done before and they haven`t even started fucking yet. Shit, that can`t be right...Right? Suddenly it`s like there`s not enough air in the room and he feels himself shake all over..

#

Jay is aching for more, but she can`t ignore how badly he`s shaking. His breath is way too fast for her liking, so she coaxes him to sit on the bed, then kneels in front of him. She rubs his thighs soothingly, while looking up into his wide eyes with nothing but patience and love. “It`s okay, Daryl. Just relax, try to breathe with me” she says gently, guiding him through it, understanding how overwhelmed he is. He follows her instructions, syncing his breaths with hers.

When his breathing starts to settle into something closer to normal, he looks away and slowly tenses up. She recognises it as him raising his defenses. He`s embarrassed and she knows it. His face hardens and he starts to get up, to push her away, but she doesn`t let him. She knows that if he walks away now then that`s it, he won`t let her come near him again. So she puts one hand on his shoulder and one on his knee to keep him in place.

“Don`t” she whispers, almost pleadingly. He glares at her, defending himself like she knew he would. “Don`t ya know that no means fuckin` NO?!” he growls lowly, but she doesn`t back down. Instead she raises a defiant eyebrow. “Really?” she asks, then moves her hand from his knee to his still hard cock and squeezes just a little. A choked groan rips from his throat as he tips a little forward, almost bucking into her hand. She smirks. “Cuz that feels like one Hell of a Yes to me!” she says wryly and before he can say something back, she starts stroking him smoothly outside of his boxers. He gasps for breath and looks at her with something wild and needy in his eyes. She keeps going, she needs him to give in, to _let_ her take care of him, they both do. Not too slow, not too fast, massaging that rigid staff while never breaking eyecontact. He slowly stops fighting her, it feels too good for that.

He moans, pushing his hips up just a little as he leans back on his elbows, finally getting lost in the pleasure of what she`s doing to him. Jay can`t take her eyes off of him, he looks so gorgeous like this, wanton and needy. His chest shimmers with sweat in the soft glow seeping through the sheet from outside the bars. She can feel wetness on the fabric around the head of his cock, and she wants to taste it so badly. He bites his lower lip, pushing into her hand again, and she takes that as her cue. She tucks her fingers into the waistline of his boxers, looking at him, silently asking for permission. He`s panting, staring at her, swallowing hard. Then he nods, lifting his hips up to help as she pulls them off.

For a moment, he looks a little insecure again, but that disappears quickly when he sees the way _she_ `s looking at _him_. Her kiss-swollen lips parted slightly, pupils blown wide with lust, cheeks flushed and hair all mussed up from their earlier make-out session. She runs reverent a finger along his cock, making him shiver and licks her lips. “I wanna taste you.. Can I?” she asks breathlessly. Daryl just nods, a little dumbfounded at how much she seems to _want_ him. No one has ever looked at him quite like that before. She leans forward and licks a broad stripe from root to tip. He throws his head back and hisses between his teeth, feeling his balls twitch in excitement. She gives a few kittenlicks at first, but she doesn`t want to tease him too much so she uses her right hand to guide him into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the sensitive head and he has to use every ounce of self control he has not to buck into her throat. _Fuck being quiet_ , he doesn`t stand a chance of that now, he thinks as he moans helplessly, fisting the sheets, desperate to hold on to something. Anything.

The sounds he`s making only serves to turn her on even more, hell, she`s practically dripping as she moans around his cock. Jay loves the way he tastes, both salty and sweet. She sneaks a hand down between her legs, giving herself some much needed relief as she bobs her head up and down. His dazed eyes widen as he sees what she`s doing to herself, and _oh christ_ , she`s so good with her mouth. It should be illegal. But he wants more than this, he wants to feel  _her_. So he sits up and grabs her head, pulling her off with an obscene sucking sound as she detaches from his dick. He cups her face and looks at her, panting, rubbing a thumb over her lower lip. “Jay.. _Please_..” is all he manages to get out shakily, but she understands and nods..

She pulls off her panties and quickly straddles him as he looks up at her with something like awe in his eyes. His hands feels warm against her hips. Taking him in hand and positioning him at her entrance, she swallows his gasp in a heated kiss before she slowly lowers herself onto his cock. Eyes shut tightly as she concentrates on relaxing her inner walls enough to accommodate him, since ` _Little Daryl_ ain`t quite so _little_ `.. She doesn`t stop until she`s flush against his lap.

Daryl was definitely leaving fingershaped bruises on her hips, because he had been hanging on for dear life from the moment she started her descent on him.  _Jesus fucking Christ,_ she`s as tight as a glove around him, and it takes his breath away. She stills for a moment, letting both of them get used to the feeling. Their eyes meet again and she smiles a watery smile. “You feel that? We fit perfectly together.. Like we were made for each other..” she whispers, threading her fingers through his hair. Daryl feels his eyes tear up a little as she says that, and he nods, not trusting his voice yet. He`s never felt this close to anyone before, and it`s terrifying and awesome all at the same time. He tips his chin up and kisses her, pouring everything he can`t say into that kiss. Trying desperately to show her what she means to him.

She`s _everything_..

When she thinks she`s adjusted enough, Jay rolls her hips experimentally and they both moan at the feeling. He`s perfect, she thinks. She holds onto him as she starts to lift herself up and down, sliding around his hard shaft. He helps her move by locking his arms around her, lifting up then pulling back down, taking some of the weight while bucking against her. Sinking even deeper inside her. He thinks he might have stopped breathing for real at this point.  “Oh God, Daryl..” she moans as he brushes against something deep inside her, and he shivers at the way she says his name. They cling tightly to each other as they find a rhythm, no longer able to tell where one begins and the other ends. The torn remnants of this world faded away. Nothing else existed in that moment. Just him and her and the sharp bursts of pleasure, building in strength with every thrust. 

Jay can feel every vein, every ridge on his cock as he moves inside her, and it`s almost too much. Their skin is slippery from sweat, but neither of them really notice or care. She feels the muscles in his back and shoulderblades shift under her hands and she loves it. As he moves her like a rag-doll up and down his length, he keeps hitting that sweet spot and  _fuck_ , she`s going to come soon..

He groans and grunts against her skin, feeling her getting tighter around him as her moans grow louder, even as she tries to muffle them with her hand. They`re moving almost frantically now, chasing that sweet surrender. It hits him like a tidalwave, ripping through his body, curling his toes and leaving him gasping and shaking against her. For Jay, feeling him come undone under her, _inside_ of her, was the last straw and she comes hard, almost blacking out for a second.

#

They stayed like that for a long while, just clinging to each other, catching their breaths. Daryl has buried his face in the crook of her neck, and she feels him shaking. “I didn`t know..” he mumbles against her skin. “Didn`t know what, baby?” she asks kissing his temple and stroking his shoulders. “I didn`t know...it could be like this..” he says, his voice sounds strained, like he`s close to crying, but she doesn`t comment on it, knowing he would feel embarrassed by that. “Like this?” she prompts, planting more small kisses along his face until he turns his head and lets her see him. Daryl is really struggling to find the words. He never once felt cherished or l-.... not until tonight. “Intense... Like I`m.. _Loved_..” he manages so hesitantly, like he expects to be punished for saying it and she has to swallow hard, her heart breaking for him.

She cups his face and looks him in the eye. “You _are_ loved, Daryl.. _I_ love you.. I always have..” she says shakily. His lower lip trembles slightly, but his eyes are still expecting pain. “Why?” he grits out, definitely strained now as his eyes fill up with tears. She gives him a pained smile.

“Because you throw squirrels and bedpans at people when you`re angry” she says, a small wet chuckle escaping her while he blinks in confusion. “Because you bite your nails when you`re nervous.. Because you use a crossbow to avoid making too much noise and still drive a _really_ loud motorcycle..” she continues and the corners of his mouth are starting to twitch into a smile now. “Because you`ll name a baby _Lil` Asskicker_..” she chuckles and wipes her eyes. “But mostly because despite everything you`ve been through; you`re still a good, brave, strong, wonderful man and you have no idea how amazing you are to me..” she finishes just as he leans in and kisses her deeply. He shakes his head as he pulls back to look at her. “Ya `r crazy, woman..” he says, but he`s smiling now and she laughs, kissing him again.

 

#

 

Jay wakes up to the same sound she fell asleep to, Daryl`s steady heartbeats. It`s the most wonderful sound in the world as far as she`s concerned. She hums in contentment, snuggling even closer, earning her a chuckle that rumbles through the warm chest beneath her head. She looks up at him and smiles. “G`mornin`” he says, small smirk playing on his lips. “mm, definitely” she quips and kisses him, feeling him chuckle against her lips this time. “I don`t wanna get up..” she whines and he huffs; “Then don`t”. She smiles at his early morning logic. “As great as it sounds to stay in bed with you all day, I have to relieve Beth from baby-duty” she says, making an apologetic face and he pouts, actually _pouts,_ which she thinks is adorable. _God, I`m so in love with this man.._

 

#

 

An hour later Jay is walking around while bottlefeeding the little one, or _trying_ to, Lil` Asskicker keeps falling asleep, much to her amusement. She has to jostle her every few minutes to keep her eating. Jay sees Maggie throwing a bag over her shoulder and grabbing her gun. “Heading out?” she asks and Maggie turns, smiling when she sees Lil` Asskicker. “Yeah, me and Glenn are going for a run. See if we can find some more supplies for the baby” she explains, planting a kiss on the baby`s head and Jay nods. “Alright, be careful out there” she replies. Maggie smirks.

“Always am. Oh, and when I get back, you`re gonna tell me _everything_ about last night!” she says, grinning like the cheshire cat. Jay`s eyes widen almost comically. “You heard?” she says meekly, cheeks turning a light pink. Maggie laughs. “Sweety, I think pretty much everyone heard! You guys were _loud!_ ” she teases and Jay looks mortified. She can hear Maggie chuckling all the way to the door as she leaves with Glenn. It doesn`t get any better when she walks into the main room of the cellblock and sees Hershel looking at her with a knowing smile and Carl blushing beside him.

“Well, this oughta be a fun day..” she mutters under her breath.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that`s the end of part one. Part two will follow soon and it will be slightly more dramatic than the first.  
> Thank you for reading ;)


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